Monday, February 3, 2014

That Time I Ran A Marathon

Looking back over this Blog it has been just about a year since I last checked in.  It was neat to see that on the one of the last entries that I had ran 2 miles.  I have come a LONG way baby!

Before I begin to talk about the marathon I want to update some things.  Lets talk stats shall we?

Feb 28 marks two years out from surgery!
Weight lost from highest recorded: 212 lbs
Weight lost since day of surgery: 174 lbs.
Sizes dropped: 26-28 depending on the cut.
I no longer can shop at the plus size stores.
I have completed the Maryland half marathon 13.1 miles
I have completed Disney World full marathon 26.2 miles
Today I ordered the information to start my journey to become a personal trainer!

I think that brings everything up to speed!

So Marathon...

I decided that I wanted to run the marathon before I have even completed the half.  I remember my friend Kim meeting me at mile 10 of the half and when we got to the finish she said 'just think when you run the marathon you will be half way!'  I was exhausted after the half.  It was pretty brutal and incredibly hilly.  The thought of tackling 13.1 more miles of that sounded impossible.

I won't bore you with the training involved.  I will leave it at marathon training is life consuming.  It was most frustrating because I had an overuse injury, a foot injury and at one point I popped my hip tendon.  It was rough.  I spent a lot of the time injured and pissed off.  The lead up to the final push, I had ran 14 miles.  Normally, you are to try to get to 20.  With my nagging knee injury I finally decided that I wasn't going to push for more distance runs, I was going to let my body heal and I was going to eat.   So I ate and I worried a lot.

The night before marathon day Charlotte spiked a fever.  Chris was given a laundry list of things to do while I was running.  Remember we were not at home we were 900 miles away in Florida.  Thankfully he did find an urgent care, and handled everything quite nicely.

The morning of marathon for Disney races you have to be in your corral at 5am.  No exceptions.  They will not let you in if you are late.  Chris and the girls drove me over to Epcot at 3am.  I made it through security and found a place to sit and wait to be called to the corrals.  I ate on my banana and just people watched.  It felt like seconds later they were moving us to the start.  My corral was O the second to the last corral.  I was very happy to NOT be in the last corral.  I have a tiny bit of buffer between myself and the pacers.  I needed every bit of that in the coming hours.

Before I knew it, they were moving our corral closer and closer to the start.  Out of the corner of my eye I could see people running from out of the corrals.  It took me a minute to realize that they were running for the potty.  In a split second decision, I got a little closer and took off into the field for it as well.  I could hear them counting down the corral in front of mine.  I had 30 secs to get done and back to my corral before I would be in the last.  I know this is completely gross, but I fell in the porta pot trying to get everything pulled back up.  I laughed to myself and thought well 'first marathon and STD all in one morning!'  I thankfully did finish and get back to my corral right as our countdown started.  I wasn't as close to the front as I had been, but not in the way back either.

There is something about standing on a start line.  I am teary now thinking about it.  The emotion is so hard to explain.  It is everything you worked for, you made it to this point.  With all of my injuries through training there were times I didn't think I would make it to the start line.  So standing there with 2500-3000 other people. Wow, just wow.

3, 2, 1, GO!  Off I went.  Because my training at the end had been so, great non-existent I had changed my goals.  To be honest I didn't think I would finish.  I didn't.  My goal was to make it to mile 15.  Only because in my training I had made it to 14.  15 would be a PR in miles for me.  I would be able to live with that.  I had prepared in my head, what I would say to my girls, on Facebook.  I had completely prepared to fail.   While I running I just tried to push all of that back and focus on running.

Running along I make it to mile 1, do the math in my head from the posted time, I am doing ok.  Feeling good.  Keep going.  I somehow missed the mile 2 marker.  When I made it to 3 I thought I had been running for a while.  I was still with a good group of people.  I would pass them for a while, they would pass me.  I was keeping pace.  OK.  Keep going, is all I thought.  Before I knew it I was coming around to Magic Kingdom.  There are only 4 songs I remember exactly where I was when they played, the first I found quite funny.   Eniemn was playing as I was rounding the corner to go backstage. Eniemn and Magic Kingdom just don't fit together, but at that moment in time it was supposed to just be.  The second was the very next song was  The Best Day of My Life.  It came on just as I hit Main Street and saw the castle.  It was straight out of a commercial!  I ran through Magic Kingdom and kept a great pace.  Came around the outside and started to the Richard Petty Experience.  I got to run on an actual car race track.  Before the race I broke it down to the number 6. There were 6 attractions to get through.  Magic Kingdom, Richard Petty, Animal Kingdom (half way point) Wild World of Sports, Hollywood studios, and finally Epcot.   Making it to the race rack I was able to start really knocking some numbers down.

After I finished up on the race track I made my way to Animal Kingdom.  This is where my knee started to talk to me.  I told it to shut up.  My brain also started, it was also told to shut it.  I kept going.  The road to Animal Kingdom was L O N G and very boring.  Although, we did spot a wild alligator in a pond.  The group I was with all joked that he should come up and help us increase our pace a little!  Finally, I made it into Animal Kingdom, and hit 13.1.  Still feeling OK, my music cut out on me here, so that made it that much harder for me.

Coming out of Animal Kingdom and on my way to Wild World of Sports I felt OK still.   I hit Mile 15.  I was still standing and still maintaining ahead of the pacers.  I told myself to make it to 18.  This is where all hell broke loose in my brain.  I let myself think I could maybe actually do it.  Maybe, I can. Then I hit the wall mentally.  I cried, like the big ugly cry.   My knee hurt, I don't mean a little I mean, like, please GOD remove it from my body hurt.  Between mile 18 and 19 I wanted to be done. DONE.  I told myself that I could never look at my girls if I quit.  So I will just be picked up.  In one solid mile I gave in and gave up.   When I came around the bend and saw the pacers (who had gotten a head of me) with their light wands in the air, I thought OK, I am done.  Somehow, I made it before the cut.  They let me keep going.   Mile 19-20 I kept fighting with my determination to quit Vs. my will to keep going.  Mile 20. I was back under pace.  Mile 21 they got ahead of me again.  They were screaming to run at the mile 21 marker as it was going to be a 'hard cut' I ran.  I ran as hard as my body would take me.  I made it again. Mile 22, I was in the last group.  Last.  It was me and maybe 5 others and the pacers on bikes.  Insert ugly cry again.  They kept asking if I was OK, and I ran and sobbed.  I told them I just wanted to finish.  The told me to just keep trying.  Mile 22-24 is a complete blur.  I honestly don't remember much, other then coming through Hollywood Studios and having people cheer me on by name.  'Keep going Megan, It is going to be so worth it! You CAN do this.'  I also remember coming out of Hollywood and making it to the Boardwalk between Hollywood and Epcot.  Someone in the group behind me said they were going to cut one final time.  I made it again.  I looked at the bike pacer and asked if we were safe.  He told me 'unless you want to be picked up, you are going to finish'.  Insert ugly cry... again.

Somewhere between mile 24-25 there was a wonderful group of spectators.  I said to myself, I can't run anymore, I just can't.  Well, one of the ladies heard me.  She started yelling that I could do it.  She kept yelling at me "SAY IT!! SAY IT!! I CAN DO THIS!'  I said it back to her and it lit my fire.  I started to run and pass people.  I ran with this wonderful lady she and I crossed the line together.  We just kept each other going.

I stopped for only one picture.  I posed with the 26 mile marker.  I was so excited, confused, drained, happy all rolled into one.   With .2 to go she and I ran it in.  Other then the birth of my littles and my wedding day, nothing tops that one moment.  Nothing.  I had done it.  My legs were just shot, mentally I could barley process what my name was.  A woman walked up to me and presented me with my medal. UGLIEST CRY, only make worse by Katy Perry's ROAR being played.  I thanked her over and over again.  And again.  I tried to text Chris to find them.  I took my finisher picture, and posted on Facebook.  Texted Chris again.  I made my way back through the bag drop off, and there they were.  My little family.  I ran to the girls, they gave me flowers.  I gave them sweaty hugs.  I yelled at them. LOL I did.  My adrenaline was pumping!  I told them not to let anyone tell them they can't do something.  They have to go for it and work for it, but they can do anything.  They can do anything they put their mind to!  I gave Chris a ginormous hug and thanked him for believing in me, when I didn't.

It is a LONG walk to the car.  I remember being extremely chatty.  Telling them everything I had seen along the way.  I told Chris a lot about mile 19 and what almost went down.  We finally made it to the car.  No one ever tells you about the pain you will be in.  I couldn't bend myself to get into the car! I had already started to stiffen up.  Thankfully our resort was super close to Epcot so we were back to our room very quickly.  I got in the huge whirlpool tub and turned on the coldest water I could stand.  Chris, ever the helper, dumped a large load of ice in with me.  There I sat in frozen silence.

Looking back I had only prepared to fail, I didn't want to even go there in my mind that I could actually finish.  I was in shock, no doubt.   I woke up very early the next day.  I remember just sitting there still in shock of what had happened the day before.  Even today as I write this almost a full month later, I can't believe that I finished.

Where do I go from here?  Well, I had promised myself that if I finished I would get the materials I needed in order to become a personal trainer.  Today, that order was placed.  Mile 19 has become my symbol of life.  I could have stopped.  I could have quit.  Who would have really known what happened?  The answer is me.  I would have known.  I will never ever think I can't do something ever again.  I will never talk myself out of it.   The Megan from 2 years ago is becoming more and more of a memory.  She will always be part of my story, no doubt.  I see less and less of her as time goes on and that is OK.  I have made a whole new life surrounded by fantastic people.  I think I have finally found who I am, and what I am meant to be.

By the end of 2014 I will have completed 1 marathon, I am also signed up for a 10K and looking at 2 more half's. Life is good!

Sunday, January 20, 2013

ChChChChChanges.....

So I have decided big changes are coming to this blog! I have found that there isn't a lot of blogs out there from the perspective of a bariatric patient training for races. That being said, I want to start one as a way to show that yes it can be done!

Stay tuned it is going to be a fun ride!

Monday, October 15, 2012

Saying Goodbye and Hello

I know it has been a while! I even missed my 6th month post. Everything is better then great. I will update on those things (like numbers) another day.

For a awhile I have been struggling with who I am. I am not the girl in my pre-op picture anymore, but I don't know who this girl is now.  I do not ever remember being this small. Like, ever.  I see myself, and don't believe this is me. I train and don't believe I am able to do the things I am doing now.  I beat the girls running up the steps to dance class.  I mean come on!

Today, new Megan decieded she was done waiting for me to get it together and came shining through. She has made me look at old Megan and realize I am really not that girl anymore. In the matter of 45 minutes I said goodbye and hello to myself. 

Weight loss surgery, and weight loss in general is like taking a ride on the crazy train.  Day to day, minute to minute things change. Last week I posted on Facebook that I had ran my longest interval to date. I ran 0.5 miles without stopping. I was ecstatic! Smiled all day. The next day I ran 0.6 before seeing the trainer. Bigger smiles.  Saturday I went to 5K training and again I was able to bust out 0.5 intervals. Huge smiles to put practice to paper.

Today, well today it was very different.  I ran 2 miles. 2 FREAKING miles!  Straight! No breaks. I have never ran a mile in my LIFE. So to hit that and keep going is just huge for me.  I started running at 0.3 on the treadmill and didn't stop till I hit 2.3. I cried when I hit it. When I went to stretch out I was still choking it back. I cannot believe how far I have come. I got really choked up when I got home and was posting on Facebook. Charlotte suggested I get a new charm for my bracelet. LOL She is such a smart girl!

 This is so important for more then the obvious. I weighed in this morning, and that damn scale didn't move. After all I have been doing, nothing. I made a choice that the number was not going to define me. I pushed myself to prove to the scale (and me) that I define me. That run this morning defines me now. Not that damn number.

I feel like I have finally let go of the fat girl that has been with me all of my life. I am Megan, a mother, wife and an athlete. I am going to continue to push myself. No one can take this away from me. I am running the Color Run 5K this weekend, and I fully plan to run the Princess Half Marathon in Disney 2014.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

On My Own

I become quite thinkative on the treadmill. Normally it is my inner voice saying 'only a little more' or 'you got this' or 'no, your not going to die keep going!' . Today it was a little deeper then that, an epiphany of sorts. It was all started by 3 little words... On My Own.

Now, the person who used these words (I hope) wasn't saying it to be insulting.  But they stung a little all the same. People who haven't had RNY or live with a person who has had RNY honestly doesn't get it. Some (not all by any means) people think that I took the easy way out by having it done. Or that this is instant bullet, or that by loosing weight 'on your own' you have somehow worked harder for your better health.

All of the above is completely false. Yes, it is true that right now I only am able to consume about 800 calories a day. Because of this and the shock of surgery to my body the first 30 or so pounds did come off pretty quick. However, when you are someone like me who has upwards of over 200 lbs to loose, 30 is a drop in the bucket.

RNY for me is a tool, I can work it however I see fit. It can work for me or I can abuse it. It is up to me. There are ways around the bypass to eat if you really want to. People regain their weight ALL of the time. It is easy to fall into bad habits. Right now at almost 6 months out, I am a rule follower. Period. I don't push the limits of what is ok or not. Will I over time? Probably, if I am being honest.

Yes, I have had RNY and this is the one and only tool that has ever worked for me. I need to be manually restricted. My tool is no different then people who use Weight Watchers, Medifast, Detrox Diets, or just follow a healthier lifestyle. They are ALL tools. You can follow the plan, and it can work for you, or you can abuse it. It is still all up to you.

My RNY doesn't make me woggle (run/jog) 5K's once a week. It doesn't drag my ass to the gym on days that I do not want to go. It doesn't make me put healthy food in my body. It doesn't make me look forward to literally whipping my butt at the gym. It doesn't understand the look my in husband's eyes when I sleep in one of his t-shirts. It doesn't understand the feeling of stepping off that treadmill after beating you own time.

Sure there are things that my RNY does do for me. But, at the end of the day it is me and my pure determination to become healthy. So far I have lost 127 lbs. On. My. Own.

Friday, August 3, 2012

The Next Step

I don't know if I mentioned in my last post that I was going to have another free session with a trainer at the gym. Well I did yesterday. It is one big sales pitch, and I knew that going into it. Chris and I had chatted about what we could afford and not. I had kept up (mostly) my end by getting to the gym as much as possible. Summer has been hard, but I have made adjustments and now back on track.  I have been in the gym since 7 weeks out from surgery. I love it. I really really do. My workouts are getting too easy though. Chris understood all of this.

So I listen to the whole presentation. I know that I have lost 120 roughly, and I have about another 120 to go. Yeah for being half way there! Trainer Dan was trying to push the whole 2 more years to get there. Uh no Bud. My weight loss is accelerated because of the bypass. Here is the big BUT to that statement... I spun my wheels the weeks I didn't make it to the gym on a regular basis. Now that I have restarted I am whizzing along. Bottom line the, bypass only does so much. It is just a tool. I work my butt off to move that scale.  Again, BUT I fully expect to be pretty damn close to goal by February. Not two years from now. 

He whooped my butt to show me what they could do for me. It was 5 minutes long. I am sore when I stand today! As sick as this sounds I love it! After that we start going through the particulars of the contract. It sounds great to me. A little higher then we were thinking monthly, but totally worth it for what I am getting. Until I read fine print... these people wanted a large down payment for the two years. Very large. I could see Chris' head exploding. I start to back pedal and tell him that I must have misunderstood something along the way but there was NO way I could pay that. Long story short, I got it worked out to lessen the months of the contract to 12 months and cut the down payment by more then half. They even let me post date when they would charge my account. I have about 2 more weeks to go till I start training. But in the meantime I can still get my gym time in every other day.

I feel bad about spending money on something like this for myself. I am trying to see it as more of an investment into my health. I mean I rearranged my guts for goodness sake!  I made that commitment 5 months ago. It's like a marriage, I am in it for the long haul. This is the right next step for me.


Monday, July 30, 2012

5 Months and Feeling Fine

Updated numbers...
Down from highest recorded:  119
Down from surgery:  87

So, it has been five months now. These past two months I have slowed down loosing. I think mostly because with it being the summer it has been harder for me to get into the gym. I thought it was going to be easier with no school. But that just hasn't been the case.  So that is a bummer. I did start back this past week going on a more regular schedule and have already seen results on the scale. My goal is to lose at least 13 more before my 6 month appointment next month. I have time to get it going again. Just please pray no more illness in our house for a LONG time!

I do have some NSV (non-scale victories) to share. This past weekend I finally broke down and bought a belt, two actually. I needed them badly. I am loosing my shorts everyday by the afternoon. I also (well Chris did) found on clearance a cable knit sweater with a zipper. The big deal about this is that it is first clothing piece I have bought as an adult the was (although still in plus sizing) a 0X. No number in front of it! At my heaviest I wore a 5X in plus sizes. I sleep in those shirts now!

My top is way smaller then my bottoms right now.  For clothes I am down (if you count every number) I am now down 20 sizes on the top and  12 on the bottom.  That is crazy to me!

As far as what is coming up, I am meeting a personal trainer tomorrow. Another free session, gotta love that! I am going to start following the 5K training program again. I was literally melting when I was doing that. I have learned a lot over these past months about recovery time, and what my body needs. I am my own personal science project now! Chris and I are going to take pics soon. I can't wait to see my parents this week. They haven't seen me since early June.