Thursday, February 27, 2014
Monday, February 3, 2014
That Time I Ran A Marathon
Looking back over this Blog it has been just about a year since I last checked in. It was neat to see that on the one of the last entries that I had ran 2 miles. I have come a LONG way baby!
Before I begin to talk about the marathon I want to update some things. Lets talk stats shall we?
Feb 28 marks two years out from surgery!
Weight lost from highest recorded: 212 lbs
Weight lost since day of surgery: 174 lbs.
Sizes dropped: 26-28 depending on the cut.
I no longer can shop at the plus size stores.
I have completed the Maryland half marathon 13.1 miles
I have completed Disney World full marathon 26.2 miles
Today I ordered the information to start my journey to become a personal trainer!
I think that brings everything up to speed!
So Marathon...
I decided that I wanted to run the marathon before I have even completed the half. I remember my friend Kim meeting me at mile 10 of the half and when we got to the finish she said 'just think when you run the marathon you will be half way!' I was exhausted after the half. It was pretty brutal and incredibly hilly. The thought of tackling 13.1 more miles of that sounded impossible.
I won't bore you with the training involved. I will leave it at marathon training is life consuming. It was most frustrating because I had an overuse injury, a foot injury and at one point I popped my hip tendon. It was rough. I spent a lot of the time injured and pissed off. The lead up to the final push, I had ran 14 miles. Normally, you are to try to get to 20. With my nagging knee injury I finally decided that I wasn't going to push for more distance runs, I was going to let my body heal and I was going to eat. So I ate and I worried a lot.
The night before marathon day Charlotte spiked a fever. Chris was given a laundry list of things to do while I was running. Remember we were not at home we were 900 miles away in Florida. Thankfully he did find an urgent care, and handled everything quite nicely.
The morning of marathon for Disney races you have to be in your corral at 5am. No exceptions. They will not let you in if you are late. Chris and the girls drove me over to Epcot at 3am. I made it through security and found a place to sit and wait to be called to the corrals. I ate on my banana and just people watched. It felt like seconds later they were moving us to the start. My corral was O the second to the last corral. I was very happy to NOT be in the last corral. I have a tiny bit of buffer between myself and the pacers. I needed every bit of that in the coming hours.
Before I knew it, they were moving our corral closer and closer to the start. Out of the corner of my eye I could see people running from out of the corrals. It took me a minute to realize that they were running for the potty. In a split second decision, I got a little closer and took off into the field for it as well. I could hear them counting down the corral in front of mine. I had 30 secs to get done and back to my corral before I would be in the last. I know this is completely gross, but I fell in the porta pot trying to get everything pulled back up. I laughed to myself and thought well 'first marathon and STD all in one morning!' I thankfully did finish and get back to my corral right as our countdown started. I wasn't as close to the front as I had been, but not in the way back either.
There is something about standing on a start line. I am teary now thinking about it. The emotion is so hard to explain. It is everything you worked for, you made it to this point. With all of my injuries through training there were times I didn't think I would make it to the start line. So standing there with 2500-3000 other people. Wow, just wow.
3, 2, 1, GO! Off I went. Because my training at the end had been so,great non-existent I had changed my goals. To be honest I didn't think I would finish. I didn't. My goal was to make it to mile 15. Only because in my training I had made it to 14. 15 would be a PR in miles for me. I would be able to live with that. I had prepared in my head, what I would say to my girls, on Facebook. I had completely prepared to fail. While I running I just tried to push all of that back and focus on running.
Running along I make it to mile 1, do the math in my head from the posted time, I am doing ok. Feeling good. Keep going. I somehow missed the mile 2 marker. When I made it to 3 I thought I had been running for a while. I was still with a good group of people. I would pass them for a while, they would pass me. I was keeping pace. OK. Keep going, is all I thought. Before I knew it I was coming around to Magic Kingdom. There are only 4 songs I remember exactly where I was when they played, the first I found quite funny. Eniemn was playing as I was rounding the corner to go backstage. Eniemn and Magic Kingdom just don't fit together, but at that moment in time it was supposed to just be. The second was the very next song was The Best Day of My Life. It came on just as I hit Main Street and saw the castle. It was straight out of a commercial! I ran through Magic Kingdom and kept a great pace. Came around the outside and started to the Richard Petty Experience. I got to run on an actual car race track. Before the race I broke it down to the number 6. There were 6 attractions to get through. Magic Kingdom, Richard Petty, Animal Kingdom (half way point) Wild World of Sports, Hollywood studios, and finally Epcot. Making it to the race rack I was able to start really knocking some numbers down.
After I finished up on the race track I made my way to Animal Kingdom. This is where my knee started to talk to me. I told it to shut up. My brain also started, it was also told to shut it. I kept going. The road to Animal Kingdom was L O N G and very boring. Although, we did spot a wild alligator in a pond. The group I was with all joked that he should come up and help us increase our pace a little! Finally, I made it into Animal Kingdom, and hit 13.1. Still feeling OK, my music cut out on me here, so that made it that much harder for me.
Coming out of Animal Kingdom and on my way to Wild World of Sports I felt OK still. I hit Mile 15. I was still standing and still maintaining ahead of the pacers. I told myself to make it to 18. This is where all hell broke loose in my brain. I let myself think I could maybe actually do it. Maybe, I can. Then I hit the wall mentally. I cried, like the big ugly cry. My knee hurt, I don't mean a little I mean, like, please GOD remove it from my body hurt. Between mile 18 and 19 I wanted to be done. DONE. I told myself that I could never look at my girls if I quit. So I will just be picked up. In one solid mile I gave in and gave up. When I came around the bend and saw the pacers (who had gotten a head of me) with their light wands in the air, I thought OK, I am done. Somehow, I made it before the cut. They let me keep going. Mile 19-20 I kept fighting with my determination to quit Vs. my will to keep going. Mile 20. I was back under pace. Mile 21 they got ahead of me again. They were screaming to run at the mile 21 marker as it was going to be a 'hard cut' I ran. I ran as hard as my body would take me. I made it again. Mile 22, I was in the last group. Last. It was me and maybe 5 others and the pacers on bikes. Insert ugly cry again. They kept asking if I was OK, and I ran and sobbed. I told them I just wanted to finish. The told me to just keep trying. Mile 22-24 is a complete blur. I honestly don't remember much, other then coming through Hollywood Studios and having people cheer me on by name. 'Keep going Megan, It is going to be so worth it! You CAN do this.' I also remember coming out of Hollywood and making it to the Boardwalk between Hollywood and Epcot. Someone in the group behind me said they were going to cut one final time. I made it again. I looked at the bike pacer and asked if we were safe. He told me 'unless you want to be picked up, you are going to finish'. Insert ugly cry... again.
Somewhere between mile 24-25 there was a wonderful group of spectators. I said to myself, I can't run anymore, I just can't. Well, one of the ladies heard me. She started yelling that I could do it. She kept yelling at me "SAY IT!! SAY IT!! I CAN DO THIS!' I said it back to her and it lit my fire. I started to run and pass people. I ran with this wonderful lady she and I crossed the line together. We just kept each other going.
I stopped for only one picture. I posed with the 26 mile marker. I was so excited, confused, drained, happy all rolled into one. With .2 to go she and I ran it in. Other then the birth of my littles and my wedding day, nothing tops that one moment. Nothing. I had done it. My legs were just shot, mentally I could barley process what my name was. A woman walked up to me and presented me with my medal. UGLIEST CRY, only make worse by Katy Perry's ROAR being played. I thanked her over and over again. And again. I tried to text Chris to find them. I took my finisher picture, and posted on Facebook. Texted Chris again. I made my way back through the bag drop off, and there they were. My little family. I ran to the girls, they gave me flowers. I gave them sweaty hugs. I yelled at them. LOL I did. My adrenaline was pumping! I told them not to let anyone tell them they can't do something. They have to go for it and work for it, but they can do anything. They can do anything they put their mind to! I gave Chris a ginormous hug and thanked him for believing in me, when I didn't.
It is a LONG walk to the car. I remember being extremely chatty. Telling them everything I had seen along the way. I told Chris a lot about mile 19 and what almost went down. We finally made it to the car. No one ever tells you about the pain you will be in. I couldn't bend myself to get into the car! I had already started to stiffen up. Thankfully our resort was super close to Epcot so we were back to our room very quickly. I got in the huge whirlpool tub and turned on the coldest water I could stand. Chris, ever the helper, dumped a large load of ice in with me. There I sat in frozen silence.
Looking back I had only prepared to fail, I didn't want to even go there in my mind that I could actually finish. I was in shock, no doubt. I woke up very early the next day. I remember just sitting there still in shock of what had happened the day before. Even today as I write this almost a full month later, I can't believe that I finished.
Where do I go from here? Well, I had promised myself that if I finished I would get the materials I needed in order to become a personal trainer. Today, that order was placed. Mile 19 has become my symbol of life. I could have stopped. I could have quit. Who would have really known what happened? The answer is me. I would have known. I will never ever think I can't do something ever again. I will never talk myself out of it. The Megan from 2 years ago is becoming more and more of a memory. She will always be part of my story, no doubt. I see less and less of her as time goes on and that is OK. I have made a whole new life surrounded by fantastic people. I think I have finally found who I am, and what I am meant to be.
By the end of 2014 I will have completed 1 marathon, I am also signed up for a 10K and looking at 2 more half's. Life is good!
Before I begin to talk about the marathon I want to update some things. Lets talk stats shall we?
Feb 28 marks two years out from surgery!
Weight lost from highest recorded: 212 lbs
Weight lost since day of surgery: 174 lbs.
Sizes dropped: 26-28 depending on the cut.
I no longer can shop at the plus size stores.
I have completed the Maryland half marathon 13.1 miles
I have completed Disney World full marathon 26.2 miles
Today I ordered the information to start my journey to become a personal trainer!
I think that brings everything up to speed!
So Marathon...
I decided that I wanted to run the marathon before I have even completed the half. I remember my friend Kim meeting me at mile 10 of the half and when we got to the finish she said 'just think when you run the marathon you will be half way!' I was exhausted after the half. It was pretty brutal and incredibly hilly. The thought of tackling 13.1 more miles of that sounded impossible.
I won't bore you with the training involved. I will leave it at marathon training is life consuming. It was most frustrating because I had an overuse injury, a foot injury and at one point I popped my hip tendon. It was rough. I spent a lot of the time injured and pissed off. The lead up to the final push, I had ran 14 miles. Normally, you are to try to get to 20. With my nagging knee injury I finally decided that I wasn't going to push for more distance runs, I was going to let my body heal and I was going to eat. So I ate and I worried a lot.
The night before marathon day Charlotte spiked a fever. Chris was given a laundry list of things to do while I was running. Remember we were not at home we were 900 miles away in Florida. Thankfully he did find an urgent care, and handled everything quite nicely.
The morning of marathon for Disney races you have to be in your corral at 5am. No exceptions. They will not let you in if you are late. Chris and the girls drove me over to Epcot at 3am. I made it through security and found a place to sit and wait to be called to the corrals. I ate on my banana and just people watched. It felt like seconds later they were moving us to the start. My corral was O the second to the last corral. I was very happy to NOT be in the last corral. I have a tiny bit of buffer between myself and the pacers. I needed every bit of that in the coming hours.
Before I knew it, they were moving our corral closer and closer to the start. Out of the corner of my eye I could see people running from out of the corrals. It took me a minute to realize that they were running for the potty. In a split second decision, I got a little closer and took off into the field for it as well. I could hear them counting down the corral in front of mine. I had 30 secs to get done and back to my corral before I would be in the last. I know this is completely gross, but I fell in the porta pot trying to get everything pulled back up. I laughed to myself and thought well 'first marathon and STD all in one morning!' I thankfully did finish and get back to my corral right as our countdown started. I wasn't as close to the front as I had been, but not in the way back either.
There is something about standing on a start line. I am teary now thinking about it. The emotion is so hard to explain. It is everything you worked for, you made it to this point. With all of my injuries through training there were times I didn't think I would make it to the start line. So standing there with 2500-3000 other people. Wow, just wow.
3, 2, 1, GO! Off I went. Because my training at the end had been so,
Running along I make it to mile 1, do the math in my head from the posted time, I am doing ok. Feeling good. Keep going. I somehow missed the mile 2 marker. When I made it to 3 I thought I had been running for a while. I was still with a good group of people. I would pass them for a while, they would pass me. I was keeping pace. OK. Keep going, is all I thought. Before I knew it I was coming around to Magic Kingdom. There are only 4 songs I remember exactly where I was when they played, the first I found quite funny. Eniemn was playing as I was rounding the corner to go backstage. Eniemn and Magic Kingdom just don't fit together, but at that moment in time it was supposed to just be. The second was the very next song was The Best Day of My Life. It came on just as I hit Main Street and saw the castle. It was straight out of a commercial! I ran through Magic Kingdom and kept a great pace. Came around the outside and started to the Richard Petty Experience. I got to run on an actual car race track. Before the race I broke it down to the number 6. There were 6 attractions to get through. Magic Kingdom, Richard Petty, Animal Kingdom (half way point) Wild World of Sports, Hollywood studios, and finally Epcot. Making it to the race rack I was able to start really knocking some numbers down.
After I finished up on the race track I made my way to Animal Kingdom. This is where my knee started to talk to me. I told it to shut up. My brain also started, it was also told to shut it. I kept going. The road to Animal Kingdom was L O N G and very boring. Although, we did spot a wild alligator in a pond. The group I was with all joked that he should come up and help us increase our pace a little! Finally, I made it into Animal Kingdom, and hit 13.1. Still feeling OK, my music cut out on me here, so that made it that much harder for me.
Coming out of Animal Kingdom and on my way to Wild World of Sports I felt OK still. I hit Mile 15. I was still standing and still maintaining ahead of the pacers. I told myself to make it to 18. This is where all hell broke loose in my brain. I let myself think I could maybe actually do it. Maybe, I can. Then I hit the wall mentally. I cried, like the big ugly cry. My knee hurt, I don't mean a little I mean, like, please GOD remove it from my body hurt. Between mile 18 and 19 I wanted to be done. DONE. I told myself that I could never look at my girls if I quit. So I will just be picked up. In one solid mile I gave in and gave up. When I came around the bend and saw the pacers (who had gotten a head of me) with their light wands in the air, I thought OK, I am done. Somehow, I made it before the cut. They let me keep going. Mile 19-20 I kept fighting with my determination to quit Vs. my will to keep going. Mile 20. I was back under pace. Mile 21 they got ahead of me again. They were screaming to run at the mile 21 marker as it was going to be a 'hard cut' I ran. I ran as hard as my body would take me. I made it again. Mile 22, I was in the last group. Last. It was me and maybe 5 others and the pacers on bikes. Insert ugly cry again. They kept asking if I was OK, and I ran and sobbed. I told them I just wanted to finish. The told me to just keep trying. Mile 22-24 is a complete blur. I honestly don't remember much, other then coming through Hollywood Studios and having people cheer me on by name. 'Keep going Megan, It is going to be so worth it! You CAN do this.' I also remember coming out of Hollywood and making it to the Boardwalk between Hollywood and Epcot. Someone in the group behind me said they were going to cut one final time. I made it again. I looked at the bike pacer and asked if we were safe. He told me 'unless you want to be picked up, you are going to finish'. Insert ugly cry... again.
Somewhere between mile 24-25 there was a wonderful group of spectators. I said to myself, I can't run anymore, I just can't. Well, one of the ladies heard me. She started yelling that I could do it. She kept yelling at me "SAY IT!! SAY IT!! I CAN DO THIS!' I said it back to her and it lit my fire. I started to run and pass people. I ran with this wonderful lady she and I crossed the line together. We just kept each other going.
I stopped for only one picture. I posed with the 26 mile marker. I was so excited, confused, drained, happy all rolled into one. With .2 to go she and I ran it in. Other then the birth of my littles and my wedding day, nothing tops that one moment. Nothing. I had done it. My legs were just shot, mentally I could barley process what my name was. A woman walked up to me and presented me with my medal. UGLIEST CRY, only make worse by Katy Perry's ROAR being played. I thanked her over and over again. And again. I tried to text Chris to find them. I took my finisher picture, and posted on Facebook. Texted Chris again. I made my way back through the bag drop off, and there they were. My little family. I ran to the girls, they gave me flowers. I gave them sweaty hugs. I yelled at them. LOL I did. My adrenaline was pumping! I told them not to let anyone tell them they can't do something. They have to go for it and work for it, but they can do anything. They can do anything they put their mind to! I gave Chris a ginormous hug and thanked him for believing in me, when I didn't.
It is a LONG walk to the car. I remember being extremely chatty. Telling them everything I had seen along the way. I told Chris a lot about mile 19 and what almost went down. We finally made it to the car. No one ever tells you about the pain you will be in. I couldn't bend myself to get into the car! I had already started to stiffen up. Thankfully our resort was super close to Epcot so we were back to our room very quickly. I got in the huge whirlpool tub and turned on the coldest water I could stand. Chris, ever the helper, dumped a large load of ice in with me. There I sat in frozen silence.
Looking back I had only prepared to fail, I didn't want to even go there in my mind that I could actually finish. I was in shock, no doubt. I woke up very early the next day. I remember just sitting there still in shock of what had happened the day before. Even today as I write this almost a full month later, I can't believe that I finished.
Where do I go from here? Well, I had promised myself that if I finished I would get the materials I needed in order to become a personal trainer. Today, that order was placed. Mile 19 has become my symbol of life. I could have stopped. I could have quit. Who would have really known what happened? The answer is me. I would have known. I will never ever think I can't do something ever again. I will never talk myself out of it. The Megan from 2 years ago is becoming more and more of a memory. She will always be part of my story, no doubt. I see less and less of her as time goes on and that is OK. I have made a whole new life surrounded by fantastic people. I think I have finally found who I am, and what I am meant to be.
By the end of 2014 I will have completed 1 marathon, I am also signed up for a 10K and looking at 2 more half's. Life is good!
Sunday, January 20, 2013
ChChChChChanges.....
So I have decided big changes are coming to this blog! I have found that there isn't a lot of blogs out there from the perspective of a bariatric patient training for races. That being said, I want to start one as a way to show that yes it can be done!
Stay tuned it is going to be a fun ride!
Stay tuned it is going to be a fun ride!
Monday, October 15, 2012
Saying Goodbye and Hello
I know it has been a while! I even missed my 6th month post. Everything is better then great. I will update on those things (like numbers) another day.
For a awhile I have been struggling with who I am. I am not the girl in my pre-op picture anymore, but I don't know who this girl is now. I do not ever remember being this small. Like, ever. I see myself, and don't believe this is me. I train and don't believe I am able to do the things I am doing now. I beat the girls running up the steps to dance class. I mean come on!
Today, new Megan decieded she was done waiting for me to get it together and came shining through. She has made me look at old Megan and realize I am really not that girl anymore. In the matter of 45 minutes I said goodbye and hello to myself.
Weight loss surgery, and weight loss in general is like taking a ride on the crazy train. Day to day, minute to minute things change. Last week I posted on Facebook that I had ran my longest interval to date. I ran 0.5 miles without stopping. I was ecstatic! Smiled all day. The next day I ran 0.6 before seeing the trainer. Bigger smiles. Saturday I went to 5K training and again I was able to bust out 0.5 intervals. Huge smiles to put practice to paper.
Today, well today it was very different. I ran 2 miles. 2 FREAKING miles! Straight! No breaks. I have never ran a mile in my LIFE. So to hit that and keep going is just huge for me. I started running at 0.3 on the treadmill and didn't stop till I hit 2.3. I cried when I hit it. When I went to stretch out I was still choking it back. I cannot believe how far I have come. I got really choked up when I got home and was posting on Facebook. Charlotte suggested I get a new charm for my bracelet. LOL She is such a smart girl!
This is so important for more then the obvious. I weighed in this morning, and that damn scale didn't move. After all I have been doing, nothing. I made a choice that the number was not going to define me. I pushed myself to prove to the scale (and me) that I define me. That run this morning defines me now. Not that damn number.
I feel like I have finally let go of the fat girl that has been with me all of my life. I am Megan, a mother, wife and an athlete. I am going to continue to push myself. No one can take this away from me. I am running the Color Run 5K this weekend, and I fully plan to run the Princess Half Marathon in Disney 2014.
For a awhile I have been struggling with who I am. I am not the girl in my pre-op picture anymore, but I don't know who this girl is now. I do not ever remember being this small. Like, ever. I see myself, and don't believe this is me. I train and don't believe I am able to do the things I am doing now. I beat the girls running up the steps to dance class. I mean come on!
Today, new Megan decieded she was done waiting for me to get it together and came shining through. She has made me look at old Megan and realize I am really not that girl anymore. In the matter of 45 minutes I said goodbye and hello to myself.
Weight loss surgery, and weight loss in general is like taking a ride on the crazy train. Day to day, minute to minute things change. Last week I posted on Facebook that I had ran my longest interval to date. I ran 0.5 miles without stopping. I was ecstatic! Smiled all day. The next day I ran 0.6 before seeing the trainer. Bigger smiles. Saturday I went to 5K training and again I was able to bust out 0.5 intervals. Huge smiles to put practice to paper.
Today, well today it was very different. I ran 2 miles. 2 FREAKING miles! Straight! No breaks. I have never ran a mile in my LIFE. So to hit that and keep going is just huge for me. I started running at 0.3 on the treadmill and didn't stop till I hit 2.3. I cried when I hit it. When I went to stretch out I was still choking it back. I cannot believe how far I have come. I got really choked up when I got home and was posting on Facebook. Charlotte suggested I get a new charm for my bracelet. LOL She is such a smart girl!
This is so important for more then the obvious. I weighed in this morning, and that damn scale didn't move. After all I have been doing, nothing. I made a choice that the number was not going to define me. I pushed myself to prove to the scale (and me) that I define me. That run this morning defines me now. Not that damn number.
I feel like I have finally let go of the fat girl that has been with me all of my life. I am Megan, a mother, wife and an athlete. I am going to continue to push myself. No one can take this away from me. I am running the Color Run 5K this weekend, and I fully plan to run the Princess Half Marathon in Disney 2014.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
On My Own
I become quite thinkative on the treadmill. Normally it is my inner voice saying 'only a little more' or 'you got this' or 'no, your not going to die keep going!' . Today it was a little deeper then that, an epiphany of sorts. It was all started by 3 little words... On My Own.
Now, the person who used these words (I hope) wasn't saying it to be insulting. But they stung a little all the same. People who haven't had RNY or live with a person who has had RNY honestly doesn't get it. Some (not all by any means) people think that I took the easy way out by having it done. Or that this is instant bullet, or that by loosing weight 'on your own' you have somehow worked harder for your better health.
All of the above is completely false. Yes, it is true that right now I only am able to consume about 800 calories a day. Because of this and the shock of surgery to my body the first 30 or so pounds did come off pretty quick. However, when you are someone like me who has upwards of over 200 lbs to loose, 30 is a drop in the bucket.
RNY for me is a tool, I can work it however I see fit. It can work for me or I can abuse it. It is up to me. There are ways around the bypass to eat if you really want to. People regain their weight ALL of the time. It is easy to fall into bad habits. Right now at almost 6 months out, I am a rule follower. Period. I don't push the limits of what is ok or not. Will I over time? Probably, if I am being honest.
Yes, I have had RNY and this is the one and only tool that has ever worked for me. I need to be manually restricted. My tool is no different then people who use Weight Watchers, Medifast, Detrox Diets, or just follow a healthier lifestyle. They are ALL tools. You can follow the plan, and it can work for you, or you can abuse it. It is still all up to you.
My RNY doesn't make me woggle (run/jog) 5K's once a week. It doesn't drag my ass to the gym on days that I do not want to go. It doesn't make me put healthy food in my body. It doesn't make me look forward to literally whipping my butt at the gym. It doesn't understand the look my in husband's eyes when I sleep in one of his t-shirts. It doesn't understand the feeling of stepping off that treadmill after beating you own time.
Sure there are things that my RNY does do for me. But, at the end of the day it is me and my pure determination to become healthy. So far I have lost 127 lbs. On. My. Own.
Now, the person who used these words (I hope) wasn't saying it to be insulting. But they stung a little all the same. People who haven't had RNY or live with a person who has had RNY honestly doesn't get it. Some (not all by any means) people think that I took the easy way out by having it done. Or that this is instant bullet, or that by loosing weight 'on your own' you have somehow worked harder for your better health.
All of the above is completely false. Yes, it is true that right now I only am able to consume about 800 calories a day. Because of this and the shock of surgery to my body the first 30 or so pounds did come off pretty quick. However, when you are someone like me who has upwards of over 200 lbs to loose, 30 is a drop in the bucket.
RNY for me is a tool, I can work it however I see fit. It can work for me or I can abuse it. It is up to me. There are ways around the bypass to eat if you really want to. People regain their weight ALL of the time. It is easy to fall into bad habits. Right now at almost 6 months out, I am a rule follower. Period. I don't push the limits of what is ok or not. Will I over time? Probably, if I am being honest.
Yes, I have had RNY and this is the one and only tool that has ever worked for me. I need to be manually restricted. My tool is no different then people who use Weight Watchers, Medifast, Detrox Diets, or just follow a healthier lifestyle. They are ALL tools. You can follow the plan, and it can work for you, or you can abuse it. It is still all up to you.
My RNY doesn't make me woggle (run/jog) 5K's once a week. It doesn't drag my ass to the gym on days that I do not want to go. It doesn't make me put healthy food in my body. It doesn't make me look forward to literally whipping my butt at the gym. It doesn't understand the look my in husband's eyes when I sleep in one of his t-shirts. It doesn't understand the feeling of stepping off that treadmill after beating you own time.
Sure there are things that my RNY does do for me. But, at the end of the day it is me and my pure determination to become healthy. So far I have lost 127 lbs. On. My. Own.
Friday, August 3, 2012
The Next Step
I don't know if I mentioned in my last post that I was going to have another free session with a trainer at the gym. Well I did yesterday. It is one big sales pitch, and I knew that going into it. Chris and I had chatted about what we could afford and not. I had kept up (mostly) my end by getting to the gym as much as possible. Summer has been hard, but I have made adjustments and now back on track. I have been in the gym since 7 weeks out from surgery. I love it. I really really do. My workouts are getting too easy though. Chris understood all of this.
So I listen to the whole presentation. I know that I have lost 120 roughly, and I have about another 120 to go. Yeah for being half way there! Trainer Dan was trying to push the whole 2 more years to get there. Uh no Bud. My weight loss is accelerated because of the bypass. Here is the big BUT to that statement... I spun my wheels the weeks I didn't make it to the gym on a regular basis. Now that I have restarted I am whizzing along. Bottom line the, bypass only does so much. It is just a tool. I work my butt off to move that scale. Again, BUT I fully expect to be pretty damn close to goal by February. Not two years from now.
He whooped my butt to show me what they could do for me. It was 5 minutes long. I am sore when I stand today! As sick as this sounds I love it! After that we start going through the particulars of the contract. It sounds great to me. A little higher then we were thinking monthly, but totally worth it for what I am getting. Until I read fine print... these people wanted a large down payment for the two years. Very large. I could see Chris' head exploding. I start to back pedal and tell him that I must have misunderstood something along the way but there was NO way I could pay that. Long story short, I got it worked out to lessen the months of the contract to 12 months and cut the down payment by more then half. They even let me post date when they would charge my account. I have about 2 more weeks to go till I start training. But in the meantime I can still get my gym time in every other day.
I feel bad about spending money on something like this for myself. I am trying to see it as more of an investment into my health. I mean I rearranged my guts for goodness sake! I made that commitment 5 months ago. It's like a marriage, I am in it for the long haul. This is the right next step for me.
So I listen to the whole presentation. I know that I have lost 120 roughly, and I have about another 120 to go. Yeah for being half way there! Trainer Dan was trying to push the whole 2 more years to get there. Uh no Bud. My weight loss is accelerated because of the bypass. Here is the big BUT to that statement... I spun my wheels the weeks I didn't make it to the gym on a regular basis. Now that I have restarted I am whizzing along. Bottom line the, bypass only does so much. It is just a tool. I work my butt off to move that scale. Again, BUT I fully expect to be pretty damn close to goal by February. Not two years from now.
He whooped my butt to show me what they could do for me. It was 5 minutes long. I am sore when I stand today! As sick as this sounds I love it! After that we start going through the particulars of the contract. It sounds great to me. A little higher then we were thinking monthly, but totally worth it for what I am getting. Until I read fine print... these people wanted a large down payment for the two years. Very large. I could see Chris' head exploding. I start to back pedal and tell him that I must have misunderstood something along the way but there was NO way I could pay that. Long story short, I got it worked out to lessen the months of the contract to 12 months and cut the down payment by more then half. They even let me post date when they would charge my account. I have about 2 more weeks to go till I start training. But in the meantime I can still get my gym time in every other day.
I feel bad about spending money on something like this for myself. I am trying to see it as more of an investment into my health. I mean I rearranged my guts for goodness sake! I made that commitment 5 months ago. It's like a marriage, I am in it for the long haul. This is the right next step for me.
Monday, July 30, 2012
5 Months and Feeling Fine
Updated numbers...
Down from highest recorded: 119
Down from surgery: 87
So, it has been five months now. These past two months I have slowed down loosing. I think mostly because with it being the summer it has been harder for me to get into the gym. I thought it was going to be easier with no school. But that just hasn't been the case. So that is a bummer. I did start back this past week going on a more regular schedule and have already seen results on the scale. My goal is to lose at least 13 more before my 6 month appointment next month. I have time to get it going again. Just please pray no more illness in our house for a LONG time!
I do have some NSV (non-scale victories) to share. This past weekend I finally broke down and bought a belt, two actually. I needed them badly. I am loosing my shorts everyday by the afternoon. I also (well Chris did) found on clearance a cable knit sweater with a zipper. The big deal about this is that it is first clothing piece I have bought as an adult the was (although still in plus sizing) a 0X. No number in front of it! At my heaviest I wore a 5X in plus sizes. I sleep in those shirts now!
My top is way smaller then my bottoms right now. For clothes I am down (if you count every number) I am now down 20 sizes on the top and 12 on the bottom. That is crazy to me!
As far as what is coming up, I am meeting a personal trainer tomorrow. Another free session, gotta love that! I am going to start following the 5K training program again. I was literally melting when I was doing that. I have learned a lot over these past months about recovery time, and what my body needs. I am my own personal science project now! Chris and I are going to take pics soon. I can't wait to see my parents this week. They haven't seen me since early June.
Down from highest recorded: 119
Down from surgery: 87
So, it has been five months now. These past two months I have slowed down loosing. I think mostly because with it being the summer it has been harder for me to get into the gym. I thought it was going to be easier with no school. But that just hasn't been the case. So that is a bummer. I did start back this past week going on a more regular schedule and have already seen results on the scale. My goal is to lose at least 13 more before my 6 month appointment next month. I have time to get it going again. Just please pray no more illness in our house for a LONG time!
I do have some NSV (non-scale victories) to share. This past weekend I finally broke down and bought a belt, two actually. I needed them badly. I am loosing my shorts everyday by the afternoon. I also (well Chris did) found on clearance a cable knit sweater with a zipper. The big deal about this is that it is first clothing piece I have bought as an adult the was (although still in plus sizing) a 0X. No number in front of it! At my heaviest I wore a 5X in plus sizes. I sleep in those shirts now!
My top is way smaller then my bottoms right now. For clothes I am down (if you count every number) I am now down 20 sizes on the top and 12 on the bottom. That is crazy to me!
As far as what is coming up, I am meeting a personal trainer tomorrow. Another free session, gotta love that! I am going to start following the 5K training program again. I was literally melting when I was doing that. I have learned a lot over these past months about recovery time, and what my body needs. I am my own personal science project now! Chris and I are going to take pics soon. I can't wait to see my parents this week. They haven't seen me since early June.
Monday, June 18, 2012
5K Wrap Up
I can't believe that I haven't taken a moment to write about the 5k... I like to blog in quite, and normally would take a minute when both girls were in school. Those moments are gone, for now!
It was a really awesome day! I was surprised to see how nervous I really was by the time it was to get started. Kim came to walk with me, her support was awesome! The only thing I wanted was to NOT be last. That was it.
I thought there would be more walkers, but there were only a handful. It was pretty easy to tell that I was the shortest one out from surgery, and honestly I was still the largest. I just let that go once I got started and focused on what I have been training to do. Complete it.
Chris had all the girls (Lily H, Charlotte, and Lily G) at the pavilion making signs for us! It was so cute! They were our own cheering squad! They cheered everyone on as the walked/ran by. On our last lap the girls came with us. Chris followed behind. The Lily's made it, Charlotte pooped out after the incline. She and Chris made a cut through the middle!
Towards the the very last turn, I made my move to not be last and I passed the only person in front of me. Lily and I crossed the line together! Kim sat with the girls while I walked it off with to catch my breath. I did get choked up when I hugged Chris. I was so proud of myself. I have come so far in this journey. I know I still have a ways to go, no doubt, but I am gonna get there.
We all got certificates and goodie bags. My time was 59:53. I am proud of that considering at the start of this I could barely do one lap. 1 year ago, there would have been no way I could have done it at all.
They are continuing the running/walking club through the summer. They are also running another couch to 5K in the fall. I will be running this. No doubt. I also plan to run the color run in Oct!
It was a really awesome day! I was surprised to see how nervous I really was by the time it was to get started. Kim came to walk with me, her support was awesome! The only thing I wanted was to NOT be last. That was it.
I thought there would be more walkers, but there were only a handful. It was pretty easy to tell that I was the shortest one out from surgery, and honestly I was still the largest. I just let that go once I got started and focused on what I have been training to do. Complete it.
Chris had all the girls (Lily H, Charlotte, and Lily G) at the pavilion making signs for us! It was so cute! They were our own cheering squad! They cheered everyone on as the walked/ran by. On our last lap the girls came with us. Chris followed behind. The Lily's made it, Charlotte pooped out after the incline. She and Chris made a cut through the middle!
Towards the the very last turn, I made my move to not be last and I passed the only person in front of me. Lily and I crossed the line together! Kim sat with the girls while I walked it off with to catch my breath. I did get choked up when I hugged Chris. I was so proud of myself. I have come so far in this journey. I know I still have a ways to go, no doubt, but I am gonna get there.
We all got certificates and goodie bags. My time was 59:53. I am proud of that considering at the start of this I could barely do one lap. 1 year ago, there would have been no way I could have done it at all.
They are continuing the running/walking club through the summer. They are also running another couch to 5K in the fall. I will be running this. No doubt. I also plan to run the color run in Oct!
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Full Of Life
That has been the atmosphere around here this past month! We have been so very busy. Ok lets get down to business first.
14 weeks out
Total from all time highest: 97
Total from surgery : 65
Things are really starting to change. I am able to see the weight loss better then ever before. I have been training HARD for the 5K that is this weekend! So excited. Still wish I could run/jog it. But I know how far I have come from even 7 weeks ago when I first stepped foot on the track. I barely made it once around. To complete the 5K it is a total of 4 trip around the 0.8mi loop. I have completed it once on the track 3 times in the gym on the treadmill. I am so much more stronger then I ever thought I would be. I know running will come. My surgeons office is toying with the idea of doing it again the fall. I am also signed up for the Color Run in DC in October. Looking forward to doing that with two awesome ladies and our kidlets! I am really going to work in getting myself there to jog the whole thing.
I did start jogging a little, but my body needs to get about another 50 lbs off first. I will get there.
Chris and I have talked more about the 1/2 marathon. Instead of the 2013 one I am going to shoot for 2014. I really to get my belly fixed ASAP after I get to a good weight. I would rather train to run it after I get it completely fixed.
This summer is looking promising for myself and the girls! I have energy and desire to play and be active. The next few days I am going to work on setting up a schedule for us, so that I make it to the gym at least 3 days a week and the other two we do something active.
Will write more on Saturday after I complete my very first 5K race!
14 weeks out
Total from all time highest: 97
Total from surgery : 65
Things are really starting to change. I am able to see the weight loss better then ever before. I have been training HARD for the 5K that is this weekend! So excited. Still wish I could run/jog it. But I know how far I have come from even 7 weeks ago when I first stepped foot on the track. I barely made it once around. To complete the 5K it is a total of 4 trip around the 0.8mi loop. I have completed it once on the track 3 times in the gym on the treadmill. I am so much more stronger then I ever thought I would be. I know running will come. My surgeons office is toying with the idea of doing it again the fall. I am also signed up for the Color Run in DC in October. Looking forward to doing that with two awesome ladies and our kidlets! I am really going to work in getting myself there to jog the whole thing.
I did start jogging a little, but my body needs to get about another 50 lbs off first. I will get there.
Chris and I have talked more about the 1/2 marathon. Instead of the 2013 one I am going to shoot for 2014. I really to get my belly fixed ASAP after I get to a good weight. I would rather train to run it after I get it completely fixed.
This summer is looking promising for myself and the girls! I have energy and desire to play and be active. The next few days I am going to work on setting up a schedule for us, so that I make it to the gym at least 3 days a week and the other two we do something active.
Will write more on Saturday after I complete my very first 5K race!
Thursday, May 24, 2012
3 Month Appointment
Today was my 3 month appointment. I met with Ranssa (psych) and Dr. von Ruedon. Everything is going great. My blood work came back right on the money, except for my iron and protein levels. We are going to watch the iron for now. As for the protein I am to change my target from 60g a day to 80g. The protein is probably due to all the working out I have been doing. I remember that from my pre-op class, some people just need more especially if you are doing intense exercises.
I think we finally figured out my dizzy spell issue. Basically, when I go from sitting to standing, or laying down to standing I get super hang onto the wall, fireworks in your eyes dizzy. Doesn't happen every single time, but it does happen a lot. Lasts about 10 secs and then I am fine. He checked out my pressure today and resting it was only 100/50! Every time I stand up your BP dips normally. With mine already being low, that is why it is causing me to almost pass out at times. So for now we are going to increase my fluids. I am going to have to get up at 4:00am to get all of this in! LOL
He also wants me too add a veggie snack in the afternoon. Normally, when I eat I am full before I get any veggies in. This new afternoon snack should help get more in.
There are new official numbers. I had my surgery weight wrong. It was a little too low. So officially, I am 62 lbs down from surgery, and 94 down total! I have decided to celebrate my 100 total weight loss with something special. I am thinking another charm! After this it will mark every 50 lbs till I get to goal. I go back in another 3 months for another check-up unless there is a problem.
I think we finally figured out my dizzy spell issue. Basically, when I go from sitting to standing, or laying down to standing I get super hang onto the wall, fireworks in your eyes dizzy. Doesn't happen every single time, but it does happen a lot. Lasts about 10 secs and then I am fine. He checked out my pressure today and resting it was only 100/50! Every time I stand up your BP dips normally. With mine already being low, that is why it is causing me to almost pass out at times. So for now we are going to increase my fluids. I am going to have to get up at 4:00am to get all of this in! LOL
He also wants me too add a veggie snack in the afternoon. Normally, when I eat I am full before I get any veggies in. This new afternoon snack should help get more in.
There are new official numbers. I had my surgery weight wrong. It was a little too low. So officially, I am 62 lbs down from surgery, and 94 down total! I have decided to celebrate my 100 total weight loss with something special. I am thinking another charm! After this it will mark every 50 lbs till I get to goal. I go back in another 3 months for another check-up unless there is a problem.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Weeks 11 & 12 and A Little Pondering
So I am a little behind in posting. I have been a little busy with Chris' Graduation and party! So all good things, but I want to take a minute to get caught up.
Last week was a milestone week for me. I hit an important number, actually passed it! I celebrated with a trip to the jewelry store and purchased the Inner Strength charm for my Pandora bracelet. This milestone was super important because I haven't seen these numbers since right before I got married almost 12 years ago. I am on track to weight less then I did on my wedding day. A lot less, before our anniversary in June. That is very exciting.
I was proud of myself for making good choices at Chris' party. I have more to say about something that happened there, but this blog isn't private so I am just going to evil grin to myself. I am only including any of this so that when I read it later on I remember. Moving on....
This week started out slow. Just wasn't feeling good on Monday. But, I lost another 3 lbs. bringing my surgery loss to 58, total to 92! The biggest news of this week comes from my couch to 5K training. I made it a full 5K on the treadmill! I am still walking, but I am just about to jog. I am just still right under that line. I love it! The race itself is about 2 more weeks away! I think that is pretty good for only 5 weeks of training!
So here is my ponder.... there is something I REALLY want to do. REALLY REALLY want to do this. But I am just not sure I can get myself there physically by next Feb. I want to run in the 2013 Princess 1/2 Marathon in Disney. I think that having done so well with this 5K has lit a fire under me, and I want to keep going. I am going to talk to Liz (AKA the exercise lady from my surgeons office tonight) and see what she thinks. I have been looking into it today and I need to walk or run a 15 minute mile. If I start training now for it, I bet I could do it.
Kathy, Paul, Kim and I are all doing The Color Run in DC in Oct, so that would give me more race experience. By February I should be pretty close to goal weight. I could go run the race then come back and have my hernia repaired! LOL
I will update on this once I talk to Liz tonight (if the rain holds out!).
Last week was a milestone week for me. I hit an important number, actually passed it! I celebrated with a trip to the jewelry store and purchased the Inner Strength charm for my Pandora bracelet. This milestone was super important because I haven't seen these numbers since right before I got married almost 12 years ago. I am on track to weight less then I did on my wedding day. A lot less, before our anniversary in June. That is very exciting.
I was proud of myself for making good choices at Chris' party. I have more to say about something that happened there, but this blog isn't private so I am just going to evil grin to myself. I am only including any of this so that when I read it later on I remember. Moving on....
This week started out slow. Just wasn't feeling good on Monday. But, I lost another 3 lbs. bringing my surgery loss to 58, total to 92! The biggest news of this week comes from my couch to 5K training. I made it a full 5K on the treadmill! I am still walking, but I am just about to jog. I am just still right under that line. I love it! The race itself is about 2 more weeks away! I think that is pretty good for only 5 weeks of training!
So here is my ponder.... there is something I REALLY want to do. REALLY REALLY want to do this. But I am just not sure I can get myself there physically by next Feb. I want to run in the 2013 Princess 1/2 Marathon in Disney. I think that having done so well with this 5K has lit a fire under me, and I want to keep going. I am going to talk to Liz (AKA the exercise lady from my surgeons office tonight) and see what she thinks. I have been looking into it today and I need to walk or run a 15 minute mile. If I start training now for it, I bet I could do it.
Kathy, Paul, Kim and I are all doing The Color Run in DC in Oct, so that would give me more race experience. By February I should be pretty close to goal weight. I could go run the race then come back and have my hernia repaired! LOL
I will update on this once I talk to Liz tonight (if the rain holds out!).
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Dead and Gone
I figured I would use my vitamin time to share a few things that I have been swimming around my head.
I am still pretty fresh on this path of my new life, and there are still new things everyday I am learning. There has been something pretty new that has been happening. I am finding out how much I really want this. How I strong I am, how deep I am willing to dig to get it. Yesterday was 5K training at the park. Chris really wanted me to stay home, and that was making my already not really wanting to go feeling grow stronger. But I knew I had to go because I cannot go Saturday (unless I blew off his Commencement!). So I got myself ready to go and off I went. It was really cloudy and dark by the time I fought traffic and got there. I chatted for a minute with Liz and got started. We were setting out to do 3 laps (2.4 miles). About 3/4 of the way around I felt a drop of rain. By the time I made the first loop it was starting to drizzle. I knew that today I was not going to the gym, so that I could clean for the coming weekend. I also knew that I did not drive all that way to only do one lap. I continued. By now it was a straight rain. I am not gonna lie right before I hit the point of no return I did ask myself if I was crazy. Still I pushed. By the time I made it back around I was soaked through my clothes! I am talking to the bone! Honestly, I have never been more proud of myself. I didn't do the 3rd lap because I noticed that my workout bag was missing. I knew that Liz had it, but I didn't see her and I didn't want her to have to wait for me. I spotted her in the parking lot and got it! Thank goodness, because my inhaler was in there!
This is just one of the times recently I find myself pushing through whatever it is. Pain, tired, soaking rain. In my old life I would have stopped. I know I would have. There is a song on my 'Werk it' playlist called "Dead and Gone"
No more stress, now I'm straight, now I get it, now I take
Time to think, before I make mistakes just for my family's sake
That part of me left yesterday
The heart of me is strong today
No regrets I'm blessed to say
The old me dead and gone away
Oh (eyyy)
I've been travellin' on this road too long (too long)
Just tryna find my way back home (back home)
The old me is dead and gone, dead and gone
And oh (eyyy)
I've been travellin' on this road too long (too long)
Just tryna find my way back home (back home)
The old me is dead and gone, dead and gone, dead and gone
This is exactly how I am feeling right now. Old me is gone. I don't want that girl anymore. I love this new girl!
I am still pretty fresh on this path of my new life, and there are still new things everyday I am learning. There has been something pretty new that has been happening. I am finding out how much I really want this. How I strong I am, how deep I am willing to dig to get it. Yesterday was 5K training at the park. Chris really wanted me to stay home, and that was making my already not really wanting to go feeling grow stronger. But I knew I had to go because I cannot go Saturday (unless I blew off his Commencement!). So I got myself ready to go and off I went. It was really cloudy and dark by the time I fought traffic and got there. I chatted for a minute with Liz and got started. We were setting out to do 3 laps (2.4 miles). About 3/4 of the way around I felt a drop of rain. By the time I made the first loop it was starting to drizzle. I knew that today I was not going to the gym, so that I could clean for the coming weekend. I also knew that I did not drive all that way to only do one lap. I continued. By now it was a straight rain. I am not gonna lie right before I hit the point of no return I did ask myself if I was crazy. Still I pushed. By the time I made it back around I was soaked through my clothes! I am talking to the bone! Honestly, I have never been more proud of myself. I didn't do the 3rd lap because I noticed that my workout bag was missing. I knew that Liz had it, but I didn't see her and I didn't want her to have to wait for me. I spotted her in the parking lot and got it! Thank goodness, because my inhaler was in there!
This is just one of the times recently I find myself pushing through whatever it is. Pain, tired, soaking rain. In my old life I would have stopped. I know I would have. There is a song on my 'Werk it' playlist called "Dead and Gone"
No more stress, now I'm straight, now I get it, now I take
Time to think, before I make mistakes just for my family's sake
That part of me left yesterday
The heart of me is strong today
No regrets I'm blessed to say
The old me dead and gone away
Oh (eyyy)
I've been travellin' on this road too long (too long)
Just tryna find my way back home (back home)
The old me is dead and gone, dead and gone
And oh (eyyy)
I've been travellin' on this road too long (too long)
Just tryna find my way back home (back home)
The old me is dead and gone, dead and gone, dead and gone
This is exactly how I am feeling right now. Old me is gone. I don't want that girl anymore. I love this new girl!
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
ARGH! 10 weekks!
The weight loss Gods are messing with me! Numbers first:
This weeks loss 1 (stinkin, stupid pound!)
Surgery total 50 on the nose!
Total loss: 84
A long LONG time ago when I was close to this goal, I couldn't pass it. I was working full time as a nurse, and going to the gym at night. Walking between 5-7 miles a day. No matter what I did I could not pass this number. I thought that after having my guts rearranged that moving past this number would be a breeze. Apparently not so much! UGH! I thought for sure I would be there this week. This is the first time I am truly a little pissed about not losing. I am only 2 lbs away!!!!
However, I am not dwelling. I was in the gym today. Met my couch to 5K training goals and am going to try to up my water more, and get more veg and fruit in. I also need to remember that I am now 5 sizes down. Also, that my weight loss is noticeable to people other then Chris and I!
We went camping this weekend. So. Much. Fun! I was very proud of myself that I did get (just about) everything in. I was a little short on fluids. But I blame that all on Chris, for wasting my drinking time getting his car stuck! LOL My everything is very different now, but I just did my thing and tired to do it fast so that I didn't make it a big deal. My belly button did great as well. I did find a deer tick near it on Saturday morning. Talking about making your heart beat fast! I hadn't even thought about bugs, I was only focused on the sand. But it is fine. I am counting down the months until I can get it fixed and more forward with my life!
This weeks loss 1 (stinkin, stupid pound!)
Surgery total 50 on the nose!
Total loss: 84
A long LONG time ago when I was close to this goal, I couldn't pass it. I was working full time as a nurse, and going to the gym at night. Walking between 5-7 miles a day. No matter what I did I could not pass this number. I thought that after having my guts rearranged that moving past this number would be a breeze. Apparently not so much! UGH! I thought for sure I would be there this week. This is the first time I am truly a little pissed about not losing. I am only 2 lbs away!!!!
However, I am not dwelling. I was in the gym today. Met my couch to 5K training goals and am going to try to up my water more, and get more veg and fruit in. I also need to remember that I am now 5 sizes down. Also, that my weight loss is noticeable to people other then Chris and I!
We went camping this weekend. So. Much. Fun! I was very proud of myself that I did get (just about) everything in. I was a little short on fluids. But I blame that all on Chris, for wasting my drinking time getting his car stuck! LOL My everything is very different now, but I just did my thing and tired to do it fast so that I didn't make it a big deal. My belly button did great as well. I did find a deer tick near it on Saturday morning. Talking about making your heart beat fast! I hadn't even thought about bugs, I was only focused on the sand. But it is fine. I am counting down the months until I can get it fixed and more forward with my life!
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
So Stinkin Close!!! 9 Weeks
Today is 9 weeks! Wow it does fly by! First off here are the numbers:
Total loss for the week 6 lbs!
Total loss since surgery 49 lbs! I have lost a little more then one of the girls!!
Total loss from highest recorded: 83 lbs!
I am SO stinkin close to my first goal! It is not the 50 lb mark, which is awesome in it's self. I am 3 lbs away from my first goal!! ARGH! So close! I really want to be at that number or lower before Chris' graduation. I know it is just a number, but I haven't seen this number in a LONG L O N G time! Fingers crossed that this time next week I am shopping for my first Pandora charm!
I am still rockin the gym. Completed my 5K work out goals this week. Thursday they increase! I did notice that my heart rate stayed lower today even though I had the treadmill at a 5 degree angle @ 3.0 miles per hour. I hope that means my body is adjusting. I pretty sure it is. The work outs are getting easier each time.
I have felt pretty good. I did notice that I was wiped out over the weekend. We did get a lot done, but I just felt more tired than I had been. Today that is better. I wonder if it has anything to do with my period ending. I don't know. I am learning to take each day as it comes. That is a tough one to learn!
Oh, I almost forgot I joined myfitnesspal.com feel free to look me up. My user name is 2shortpeopleruleme. A lot of my bariatric friends use it for tracking. I am never going to hit the calorie goals! It has me at 1600, yeah, I am like a 1000 under that!
Total loss for the week 6 lbs!
Total loss since surgery 49 lbs! I have lost a little more then one of the girls!!
Total loss from highest recorded: 83 lbs!
I am SO stinkin close to my first goal! It is not the 50 lb mark, which is awesome in it's self. I am 3 lbs away from my first goal!! ARGH! So close! I really want to be at that number or lower before Chris' graduation. I know it is just a number, but I haven't seen this number in a LONG L O N G time! Fingers crossed that this time next week I am shopping for my first Pandora charm!
I am still rockin the gym. Completed my 5K work out goals this week. Thursday they increase! I did notice that my heart rate stayed lower today even though I had the treadmill at a 5 degree angle @ 3.0 miles per hour. I hope that means my body is adjusting. I pretty sure it is. The work outs are getting easier each time.
I have felt pretty good. I did notice that I was wiped out over the weekend. We did get a lot done, but I just felt more tired than I had been. Today that is better. I wonder if it has anything to do with my period ending. I don't know. I am learning to take each day as it comes. That is a tough one to learn!
Oh, I almost forgot I joined myfitnesspal.com feel free to look me up. My user name is 2shortpeopleruleme. A lot of my bariatric friends use it for tracking. I am never going to hit the calorie goals! It has me at 1600, yeah, I am like a 1000 under that!
Friday, April 27, 2012
Non Scale Victories
Non Scale Victories (NSV's) are a huge deal. I have had a few of these, but Wednesday I had my biggest to date. As some may know my hubby will be graduating from college in two weeks! I really dreaded going to find something to wear for this. For two reasons. 1) it is hard to find things that fit me in the stores. I normally order from a great website. I was going to do this again, but I couldn't find something I liked enough to order. 2) Money. Someone my size to buy something other then a t-shirt costs a good amount of money. With loosing the weight the way I am I didn't want to spend $100 for something I might wear once.
When my Mom was up here for Grandparents day at Lily's school. We went shopping. I had no clue where to even start with sizes. I picked out a few things were I thought I might be and a few a size smaller. The very first dress I put on was the winner! It was smaller then I thought I was! The jeans that I came into the store wearing (that are way too big now) are 5 sizes bigger then this dress! Now, I am no where near 'normal' sizes, but, I am now finally out of the way high end sizes! It also (thanks to a sale) didn't cost more then my budget for it. Plus, it is dressy, but not over the top so I can wear it for Charlotte's promotion ceremony!
I ended up buying a pair of new jeans, and a new night gown. My might gowns are like tents on me! It is really funny! I mean I like them big, but it was getting a little crazy! I never buy myself things, and I have been blessed by family members passing on clothes my way. I really only needed those three things. Oh I also got a new sucker upper (what I call shape wear) I need this to support my hernia while I exercise. The one I wear now is getting a little worn. I am wearing everything in my dresser now. Today I put on a pair of Chris' gym shorts just to see- ended up wearing them to the gym this morning! :-)
Small update: Tuesday afternoon, I had gas pain that became so severe I had to call Chris home from work. I couldn't get it to move despite everything I was doing. My parents thankfully were already here for Grandparents Day the next day. So they kept the kids busy while I was in a world of pain. When Chris got home we called into the office and my surgeon said to head to the ER (it hurt that bad) because I really thought I had blown my hernia. Chris gets off the phone helps me to try to sit up, while I was sitting up I realized I could sit up (couldn't before). I made my way to the bathroom, and still was a little painful but nothing too bad. As we stood on the front porch I told him I felt better. We still walked to the car, I got in and laid my seat all the way back. Rolled from side to side- thank God no one was around! Still no pain. I called back to the office and left a message for my surgeon letting him know the gas bubble must have gotten stuck under my hernia, but that it had finally passed! Felt just fine the rest of the night and next day went back to normal! It was crazy!
5K training went really well on Wednesday. I didn't fall! I am hanging in there.
When my Mom was up here for Grandparents day at Lily's school. We went shopping. I had no clue where to even start with sizes. I picked out a few things were I thought I might be and a few a size smaller. The very first dress I put on was the winner! It was smaller then I thought I was! The jeans that I came into the store wearing (that are way too big now) are 5 sizes bigger then this dress! Now, I am no where near 'normal' sizes, but, I am now finally out of the way high end sizes! It also (thanks to a sale) didn't cost more then my budget for it. Plus, it is dressy, but not over the top so I can wear it for Charlotte's promotion ceremony!
I ended up buying a pair of new jeans, and a new night gown. My might gowns are like tents on me! It is really funny! I mean I like them big, but it was getting a little crazy! I never buy myself things, and I have been blessed by family members passing on clothes my way. I really only needed those three things. Oh I also got a new sucker upper (what I call shape wear) I need this to support my hernia while I exercise. The one I wear now is getting a little worn. I am wearing everything in my dresser now. Today I put on a pair of Chris' gym shorts just to see- ended up wearing them to the gym this morning! :-)
Small update: Tuesday afternoon, I had gas pain that became so severe I had to call Chris home from work. I couldn't get it to move despite everything I was doing. My parents thankfully were already here for Grandparents Day the next day. So they kept the kids busy while I was in a world of pain. When Chris got home we called into the office and my surgeon said to head to the ER (it hurt that bad) because I really thought I had blown my hernia. Chris gets off the phone helps me to try to sit up, while I was sitting up I realized I could sit up (couldn't before). I made my way to the bathroom, and still was a little painful but nothing too bad. As we stood on the front porch I told him I felt better. We still walked to the car, I got in and laid my seat all the way back. Rolled from side to side- thank God no one was around! Still no pain. I called back to the office and left a message for my surgeon letting him know the gas bubble must have gotten stuck under my hernia, but that it had finally passed! Felt just fine the rest of the night and next day went back to normal! It was crazy!
5K training went really well on Wednesday. I didn't fall! I am hanging in there.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Just The Facts
Just a quickie update post!
Here is the break down....
Today is 8 weeks!!!
Total loss from highest recorded... 77 lbs!
Total since surgery... 44 lbs!
This weeks loss 3 lbs!
Today I had to see the counselor today. That went great! On my way out I saw Liz, and she asked if I wanted to get some new measurements. Since September till today I have lost a total of 42.25 inches! 7 of those are just from last month!
Tomorrow I am doing my first two-a-day. Gym in the morning and 5K group training at night. I normally go on Saturday but I am changing back to Wednesday because my next few weekends are booked. Glad to report it all super fun things like camping, graduations and grad parties!! I am super close to my first milestone! Feeling great!
Here is the break down....
Today is 8 weeks!!!
Total loss from highest recorded... 77 lbs!
Total since surgery... 44 lbs!
This weeks loss 3 lbs!
Today I had to see the counselor today. That went great! On my way out I saw Liz, and she asked if I wanted to get some new measurements. Since September till today I have lost a total of 42.25 inches! 7 of those are just from last month!
Tomorrow I am doing my first two-a-day. Gym in the morning and 5K group training at night. I normally go on Saturday but I am changing back to Wednesday because my next few weekends are booked. Glad to report it all super fun things like camping, graduations and grad parties!! I am super close to my first milestone! Feeling great!
Monday, April 23, 2012
Dreams
We all have them right? In my pre-mommy days I was a nurse. I went through a high school program- giving up a typical Senior year to go after it. When I graduated from High School I was able to sit for and passed the Nclex- LPN licensing exam. I was handing out controlled meds before I could legally drink or buy cigarettes. I dreamt of being a mother for a long time. Finally having to take the reins myself (with Chris of course) and go after it. Same thing when we found out we were expecting Charlotte. I was determined that God didn't give us this to take it away. So I fought against my body and kept her surprising my doctors.
I was determined. I was driven.
In the past I have felt determined to loose this weight that I carry around. I would loose some. Then get frustrated that it wasn't happening fast enough, or really at all. Old habits would creep back in and the same amount of weight I was able to loose was back on in no time, and this time brought friends. I would pretend it didn't bother me, but it did. And still does.
The first few weeks after my surgery I must have said I am sorry more times then I had in my life. I was sorry. For putting Chris and the girls through a scary surgery, my parents for leaving their home 3 hours away to come help me out. I was mad at myself that I had always been so driven and determined for other things in my life, but never this. I had to put myself through this surgery, change my anatomy to finally get to a healthy weight. The surgery is not a silver bullet. I will loose in the beginning, but as time goes on my body will figure this out. I am going to have to fight this the rest of my life.
This weekend my surgeon was running the 5K group training. After I gracefully ate concrete, he let everyone else go on ahead and stayed with me. After a minute I got up and I finished my training. This time was different then any other time in my life. I didn't finish the training just to save face and appear brave. I didn't even think of those things. I was more concerned with me being too hurt to get back to the gym! I was proud of myself that I really finished for me. He and I talked on our way around the track and I told him about my buyers remorse. He agrees it is all rooted in fear of the unknown. I was nice to feel validated by him. I don't know why I needed it from him, but I did.
Chris and I opted out of the gym yesterday. I was pretty sore after falling. This morning, I still felt sore, but I went. I wasn't going to do the 5K training I was going to bike. But, when I got to my favorite room, I saw all of those beautiful treadmills. I couldn't stop myself. My ankle and knee hurt a little, but after I got into the groove it all went away. Not only did I do the 5K training, I beat my time and distance!
As for my dream in all of this, I will say what I said in my very first appointment with Liz the exercise phsyologist. I want to be able to ride amusement park rides with my kids. I want to walk past a mirror and not say eww. I want to be able to walk into a store and buy whatever I want. I want to be able to buy whatever it is and not look at the weight limit first. I want people to not be afraid to sit next to me in an office.I want to train for and finish this 5K and then move onto Disney's Princess Half Marathon. I want to run! I want all of this and more.
I finally feel like I have to the right tool to do all of this with. I feel like it is all mine to take. I am determined. I am driven. It is mine.
I was determined. I was driven.
In the past I have felt determined to loose this weight that I carry around. I would loose some. Then get frustrated that it wasn't happening fast enough, or really at all. Old habits would creep back in and the same amount of weight I was able to loose was back on in no time, and this time brought friends. I would pretend it didn't bother me, but it did. And still does.
The first few weeks after my surgery I must have said I am sorry more times then I had in my life. I was sorry. For putting Chris and the girls through a scary surgery, my parents for leaving their home 3 hours away to come help me out. I was mad at myself that I had always been so driven and determined for other things in my life, but never this. I had to put myself through this surgery, change my anatomy to finally get to a healthy weight. The surgery is not a silver bullet. I will loose in the beginning, but as time goes on my body will figure this out. I am going to have to fight this the rest of my life.
This weekend my surgeon was running the 5K group training. After I gracefully ate concrete, he let everyone else go on ahead and stayed with me. After a minute I got up and I finished my training. This time was different then any other time in my life. I didn't finish the training just to save face and appear brave. I didn't even think of those things. I was more concerned with me being too hurt to get back to the gym! I was proud of myself that I really finished for me. He and I talked on our way around the track and I told him about my buyers remorse. He agrees it is all rooted in fear of the unknown. I was nice to feel validated by him. I don't know why I needed it from him, but I did.
Chris and I opted out of the gym yesterday. I was pretty sore after falling. This morning, I still felt sore, but I went. I wasn't going to do the 5K training I was going to bike. But, when I got to my favorite room, I saw all of those beautiful treadmills. I couldn't stop myself. My ankle and knee hurt a little, but after I got into the groove it all went away. Not only did I do the 5K training, I beat my time and distance!
As for my dream in all of this, I will say what I said in my very first appointment with Liz the exercise phsyologist. I want to be able to ride amusement park rides with my kids. I want to walk past a mirror and not say eww. I want to be able to walk into a store and buy whatever I want. I want to be able to buy whatever it is and not look at the weight limit first. I want people to not be afraid to sit next to me in an office.I want to train for and finish this 5K and then move onto Disney's Princess Half Marathon. I want to run! I want all of this and more.
I finally feel like I have to the right tool to do all of this with. I feel like it is all mine to take. I am determined. I am driven. It is mine.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Week 7
I am proud to announce that the stall is over! Yesterday when I popped up on the scale it had dropped 5lbs!!! That makes the totals 40lbs since surgery and 74 from highest! Wahoo! One of the pages I follow on facebook is a page for WLS'ers. Someone the other day listed out a comparison chart for what your weight loss really equals out to. I was between an Irish Setter and a solid gold bar! I thought that was funny.
I have been going to the gym as often as I can. Charlotte joined me on Monday and loved the kids section. I met with the trainer. I didn't know that it was going to turn into a sales pitch (don't you hate that!), and I don't like to be caught off guard. On a positive note he did show me some new exercises to try that I can mix it. I also made it to the 5K training on Saturday. Liz kicked out butts! We are still in the beginning of training so we only walked/jogged 0.8 miles, or one loop. Then she put us through a boot camp of sorts. I kept up pretty well. I am the largest person doing this, and I think the closest out from surgery. I do have to figure out different exercise clothes. My pants were literally sliding down today! It only makes matters worse that because of my hernia I must wear shapewear under my exercise clothing. It helps keep it stable. I thought for sure that my pants were going to hit the floor today! I did make my 5K training goals, it was pretty ugly but I made it!
I am very close to my first set goal for myself! I hope to get there in the next 2 weeks or so. My reward system I have set up is completely non-food based. I was given for my birthday a Pandora bracelet. I am going to pick out a new charm representing each milestone. I wear the bracelet everyday so I will be able to look at it always as a reminder.
Looking ahead, next week I am so excited. At 8 weeks I get to have tomatoes again! I don't really like them raw but LOVE them roasted or really cooked in any way! So I gt to try them out to see how they will sit me.
I have been going to the gym as often as I can. Charlotte joined me on Monday and loved the kids section. I met with the trainer. I didn't know that it was going to turn into a sales pitch (don't you hate that!), and I don't like to be caught off guard. On a positive note he did show me some new exercises to try that I can mix it. I also made it to the 5K training on Saturday. Liz kicked out butts! We are still in the beginning of training so we only walked/jogged 0.8 miles, or one loop. Then she put us through a boot camp of sorts. I kept up pretty well. I am the largest person doing this, and I think the closest out from surgery. I do have to figure out different exercise clothes. My pants were literally sliding down today! It only makes matters worse that because of my hernia I must wear shapewear under my exercise clothing. It helps keep it stable. I thought for sure that my pants were going to hit the floor today! I did make my 5K training goals, it was pretty ugly but I made it!
I am very close to my first set goal for myself! I hope to get there in the next 2 weeks or so. My reward system I have set up is completely non-food based. I was given for my birthday a Pandora bracelet. I am going to pick out a new charm representing each milestone. I wear the bracelet everyday so I will be able to look at it always as a reminder.
Looking ahead, next week I am so excited. At 8 weeks I get to have tomatoes again! I don't really like them raw but LOVE them roasted or really cooked in any way! So I gt to try them out to see how they will sit me.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Picture Motivation
I missed the 5K training on Wednesday. Not gonna lie, I totally copped out. The weather was iffy and it is a good 45 min drive to get to the park where it is being held. I didn't want to fight the traffic just to get there and have it rained out. But, something good come from it. I joined a gym. Chris and I had a talk about it and I went looking with my sister yesterday. I settled on Gold's. It was almost half of what I would have been spending per month on a swim pass. Plus Chris can come along on the weekends for free and the girls have their own kid gym! Wahoo! I went today and I loved it! Did 30 mins on the treadmill and walked 1.4 miles. My favorite part of the gym (so far) is that they have a movie area with a ton of cardio equipment in it. So I could do my thing in the dark! I didn't watch the movie. I like to listen to music when I work out. They were playing 50 first dates. Tomorrow the weather here is supposed to be great so I will not be copping out and will indeed make it to 5K training!
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
6 Weeks, A Little Bad News, And A Stall
I know the title seems like a downer, but it really isn't all that bad. Yesterday was 6 weeks exactly. Wow that went fast! I am considered 'healed' physically, mentally I am still getting there. I am learning that this surgery changes everything. My brain is just a little slow to catch up. Last week week had a few bumps. I had two full days of being dizzy and just feeling off. I did go see my surgeon, because I had a stitch that was coming out. I told him everything, we got more blood work done. Just to make sure. As far as I know everything was great. I started to feel better on Thursday/Friday. My guess is that it was more related to my sinus issues. I have been dizzy because of that before, this was just a lot more.
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TMI section- there is mention of blood here. It might be gross for some so just skip ahead to the end!
While I was office, I told him that I finally figured out where the bloody discharge from my belly button was coming from. I have an open ulcerated area in there. He was finally able to really see it. He was actually a little speechless! There was a lot of 'umm oh, well look at thats'. I felt vindicated, I had been telling him, but he could never find it. We have a working plan for keeping it clean. It really makes me nervous because having blood coming out of your belly button. Even if it just ooze from and ulcer. The bad news is that I am out of the pool until it heals. Honestly, I can't see myself back in the pool until I have the hernia repair done. That is at least 10 months away. Insert sad face.
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The good news is that Chris has been great (like always, well most times) and agreed that instead of getting a pool pass I am looking at gym's. If I can find one that I like that is about the same money as the pool then we are going for that. Trying to get what I need without jacking up cost. Tonight I start the couch to 5K program. It is 9 weeks, I think? The race is June 9.That is all free for me to participate in. I think it would be pretty foolish to not at least try. Oh that reminds me I have to change Charlotte's hair donation appointment. Crap. Anyway, I am excited about this. I know it is going to only help my weight loss, and help get up my endurance.
Speaking of weight loss, this week I stalled. Same as last week. I know it seems crazy for that to happen when you are only eating (maybe) 400-500 calories a day. However, from what I have read it is quite normal around 6 weeks. I am not really upset, I just took it as my body saying, "OK, I am now all healed up! Get out there and move it!" So that is what I am going to do.
************************************************************************************
TMI section- there is mention of blood here. It might be gross for some so just skip ahead to the end!
While I was office, I told him that I finally figured out where the bloody discharge from my belly button was coming from. I have an open ulcerated area in there. He was finally able to really see it. He was actually a little speechless! There was a lot of 'umm oh, well look at thats'. I felt vindicated, I had been telling him, but he could never find it. We have a working plan for keeping it clean. It really makes me nervous because having blood coming out of your belly button. Even if it just ooze from and ulcer. The bad news is that I am out of the pool until it heals. Honestly, I can't see myself back in the pool until I have the hernia repair done. That is at least 10 months away. Insert sad face.
**********************************************************************************
The good news is that Chris has been great (like always, well most times) and agreed that instead of getting a pool pass I am looking at gym's. If I can find one that I like that is about the same money as the pool then we are going for that. Trying to get what I need without jacking up cost. Tonight I start the couch to 5K program. It is 9 weeks, I think? The race is June 9.That is all free for me to participate in. I think it would be pretty foolish to not at least try. Oh that reminds me I have to change Charlotte's hair donation appointment. Crap. Anyway, I am excited about this. I know it is going to only help my weight loss, and help get up my endurance.
Speaking of weight loss, this week I stalled. Same as last week. I know it seems crazy for that to happen when you are only eating (maybe) 400-500 calories a day. However, from what I have read it is quite normal around 6 weeks. I am not really upset, I just took it as my body saying, "OK, I am now all healed up! Get out there and move it!" So that is what I am going to do.
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