Dead and Gone

I figured I would use my vitamin time to share a few things that I have been swimming around my head.

 I am still pretty fresh on this path of my new life, and there are still new things everyday I am learning. There has been something pretty new that has been happening.  I am finding out how much I really want this. How I strong I am, how deep I am willing to dig to get it. Yesterday was 5K training at the park. Chris really wanted me to stay home, and that was making my already not really wanting to go feeling grow stronger. But I knew I had to go because I cannot go Saturday (unless I blew off his Commencement!). So I got myself ready to go and off I went. It was really cloudy and dark by the time I fought traffic and got there. I chatted for a minute with Liz and got started. We were setting out to do 3 laps (2.4 miles). About 3/4 of the way around I felt a drop of rain. By the time I made the first loop it was starting to drizzle. I knew that today I was not going to the gym, so that I could clean for the coming weekend. I also knew that I did not drive all that way to only do one lap.  I continued. By now it was a straight rain. I am not gonna lie right before I hit the point of no return I did ask myself if I was crazy. Still I pushed. By the time I made it back around I was soaked through my clothes! I am talking to the bone! Honestly, I have never been more proud of myself. I didn't do the 3rd lap because I noticed that my workout bag was missing. I knew that Liz had it, but I didn't see her and I didn't want her to have to wait for me. I spotted her in the parking lot and got it! Thank goodness, because my inhaler was in there!

This is just one of the times recently I find myself pushing through whatever it is. Pain, tired, soaking rain. In my old life I would have stopped. I know I would have. There is a song on my 'Werk it' playlist called "Dead and Gone"

No more stress, now I'm straight, now I get it, now I take
Time to think, before I make mistakes just for my family's sake
That part of me left yesterday
The heart of me is strong today
No regrets I'm blessed to say
The old me dead and gone away
Oh (eyyy)
I've been travellin' on this road too long (too long)
Just tryna find my way back home (back home)
The old me is dead and gone, dead and gone
And oh (eyyy)
I've been travellin' on this road too long (too long)
Just tryna find my way back home (back home)
The old me is dead and gone, dead and gone, dead and gone

This is exactly how I am feeling right now. Old me is gone. I don't want that girl anymore. I love this new girl!