2 Weeks 3 Days

I am little late for my update.

Here is the breakdown...as of Tuesday.

I am down 20 lbs since surgery! And...wait for it.... 50 from highest!

I know I had mentioned weighing too often. When I weighed in on Tuesday my numbers where the same as from the weekend.  Normally this is the time where people stop losing pounds everyday. My body is freaking out a little and holding onto everything. Once it figures it out that I am not dieing then it will start up again.  I am ok with that.

Since Tuesday I have felt really pretty good. I have losty the fuzzy feeling in my head. I think swtiching somethings around is helping as well. I was drinking a protein shake for breakfast. It was making me not feel too  great. I moved that to lunchtime and starting eating an egg for breakfast. That is sitting much better. The puree is going great! I am hitting 60grams of protein a day and 64-70oz of fluids. I think I am better hydrated now then before surgery! I have to take triple dose of vitamins, and I glad to see that I am absorbing them. My nails are nice and hard and growing. That is huge.  My energy is also improving this is going a long way to make me feel better!

More exciting news, Chris gave me my last Heparin shot last night! Wahoo! I am sooo bruised up. All over my arms, hands, belly it is a mess. Hopefully now that will all start going away. I called into my team yesterday and spoke with the nurse because one of my sights is a (very) little reddish/pink. This was the site that looked the best out of them all. I am going to put some bactroban on it over the weekend to see if that helps. The rashes are really improved on the other sites.

I think I am finally settling in. I am not so freaked by every little thing that I feel. I can start my anxiety meds on Sunday. I know that will help out a great deal.  It has been a few days now since I felt any regret. Each span is getting longer. My team hosts a support group once a month at the hospital, it is next Wednesday. I am looking forward to that. It is a first one since surgery.

Let The Puree Begin!

Today is a super big day! After 12 days of fluids both clean and full I am moving on! Thank you, God! I did pretty well tolerating everything until the last few days. Now, I just think I am tired of it in general. Don't be jealous now,  Cream of Chicken soup double strained with a severing of unflavored protein powder is not as good as it sounds! I promise.  This afternoon I am moving onto better things! Refried beans and cheese! WA HOO!

I do have a call into my nutritionist just to make sure I am moving on correctly. I have been getting in 65-70Oz of fluid a day. I need to keep that up and now count all my protein to make sure I am getting 60-80gms a day. The protein water (Isopure) I loved pre-op now make me want to hurl at the thought of it. I tried it again last night and even added a pack of splenda, it is still horrible. I am going to try to get over to the Vitamin Shoppe to find another flavor I can tolerate better.

As for my overall healing. I think I am right on track. I have decided to go back to work this week. Being a SAHM it gives me a ton more freedom to sit when needed. I want to get us all back into our routine. There are only two tasks that Chris will keep for the time being, the washing and drying of the laundry. Ours is in the basement and the stairs are old and scary. The deal is he will 'run' them and I will put it all away. The other task is the bathroom. I just don't want to be around any extra germs. My incisions are mostly healed but why chance it. I will say there is more time in my day that I feel 'normal', meaning I have to remember that I did have the surgery. For that I am grateful.  I don't feel like I am going to drop dead at any moment, which helps with the negative thoughts of putting my family through this. It will be worth it, I am finally starting to really feel this way.

I do have a new number for total lost but I am not posting till tomorrow. It is hard to stay off the damn scale! I am not going to count it anymore until Tuesday. So there is a number, a wonderful number, but it isn't real until tomorrow. Here's hoping for an even better one! I am starting to see it in other way I had to take off my wedding rings :-( When we were in process with Poose I bought myself a plain band to wear on our visit and homecoming. I was able to put that on and it fits perfectly. That makes me smile.

Mood check in. So far so good. The good thing about going through Major Depression/anxiety is that you learn to recognize it. I feel exactly how I felt after Puddle was born. I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. I have had a few mild complications, nothing I would say major. I am just in that mind set that something is going to take this all away. My medication really helps with that. I take my last dose of Heparin on Thursday night. I am going to call the pharmacist to see how long  should wait to get it out of my system before I restart my meds. Hopefully, I can start it back up by the weekend.

Tomorrow marks Two Weeks!

 

Picking Up A Little Speed

As for healing. It is slow, but steady. It is hard to remember that I did in fact have major surgery. With only 5 little incisions and drain site it is easy to forget. I went yesterday and had my one week blood work done along with another set of liver functions. I am taking it as good news if I don't hear anything after Wednesday. I still have the itchy rashes around 3 out of the sites and the drain. This isn't worse. It is hard to say it is better, but it isn't as itchy. So maybe that is something.

Mood- good news bad news. Good news is that they make my med in liquid, and I even picked it up from the pharmacy today. Bad news, I am going to hold off taking it. I am still taking the Heparin shots for the next 6 days. Taking the two may cause a problem with extra bleeding. Soo yeah, I am holding off until for about another week. But at least I have it.

I have been on a few outings. I always come home feeling extremely worn out. Kinda feels like I have been really super sick, and these are my first times leaving the house. Around the house I do just fine. I do think it is sad that the first thing I have grown too small for is my wedding rings :-( I am still wearing them, but I have to be super careful. It won't be much longer before I have to figure something else out on how to wear them.

I am almost done with my full fluids stage. This Wednesday I can start puree. Wahoo! I have been doing very well with getting in the majority of my fluids. I am averaging 70 oz a day. When you can only take in 4oz every half hour, I have a cup in my hand 24/7. But it beats another IV any day!

One week!

So I must admit, I think that I have finally turned a corner. I am one week out today! I checked my weight this morning. It was .5 down from the doctors yesterday. I was most happy to see that our scale is right on track with theirs. I have gotten in 100% of my fluids for the past two days. The little rash around my incisions is still itchy, but it hasn't gotten any worse. I added in another supplement this morning and I will add a gallbladder med this evening.

One thing I haven't written about yet is that fact, that I have not been hungry. At all. The last time I felt a hunger pain was last Tuesday morning.  It seems like I am really going to have to treat food like a medication from here on out. I have a slight OCD way about me am routine driven person so this should be OK. Plus, I am writing everything. Although, that did bite me in the butt last night. Chris and I had words over the exact amount of beef broth I mixed my protein powder with. I even used the words 'look, I am am right, I even wrote it down!' only to turn to that page of my book to see that he was right. DOH!  Moving right along.... :-)

As for my mood, still no tears, or any anxiety to really talk about. I write about my mood because pre-surgery I was on a med for depression/anxiety. I haven't taken them since last Monday night. Normally by day 4 off of it, I still to twitch a little. I am amazed how well I have done (so far) without it. My med does comes in a liquid so I am working with my PCP to get it in that form.  After all the negative reactions to meds I have had I am a little more then leery though. So we will see.

The girls are adjusting well. I let Lily stay home today. She has had a stuffy head this morning she had a slight fever. I thought it might be good to let her stay home just to try to catch up a little. They have both been super gentle with me. I have been very open with them. They saw my incisions and drain. Charlotte was fascinated with the drain. I think that they are getting a little more comfortable with me overall.

Chris, well he is a saint. Pure and simple. I have had to ask him to not make me a walking project to manage. He gets super worried and after what happened on Saturday he has been a little over protective.

Am I still dealing with 'Buyer's Remorse'? A little. I think each day out and I start to feel better the more I knew I made the right choice.

Day 6 and all is better.

Since the ER visit everything seems to be healing nicely. I do have some dermatitis around most of my incision sites. This morning I called and got back in the my surgeon to check back in after the ER visit. We talked about the dermatitis and he wants me to start Hydrocortisone cream around each site. Hopefully this will help the itching. Other then that it seems like all the fluids I got are doing their magic.

As for my mood, I haven't cried today. Bonus! I did start out with some negative thoughts about choosing the RNY (bypass) over the lap band. But at the end of the day it was probably the best choice I could have made. I didn't put my weight on after having the girls. I was already very overweight, been so most of my life.  More then likely I would have had to convert to the bypass down the line anyway.

I did get weighed at the office, and I am down 6.56 from my weight there this past Friday. I think that seeing that the scale is moving is also helping my mood. From my highest recorded till today I am down 40 lbs.

My plan is to just keep on keeping on. I drove everywhere we went today. I am going to take it easy the rest of the night. My main focus is to just get back our normal routine.  After my adventure on Saturday night my parents, Chris and I have come to conclusion that it would be better for them to hang out till Friday morning. I am so thankful for all the love and support shown my way.

ER visit- Day 4

Well day four was going well. Went to visit my sister at her new house. I stood the entire time I was there. Which was about an hour. While Chris and I were walking back to the van my back was killing me. Chris got me home and I changed clothes. Once I got comfortable my back felt a lot better. However, I noticed that I had pressure in my new tummy. I waited about ten minutes before saying anything. I was hoping that it would go away. It didn't. In fact it only got worse. I told Chris and my Mom what I was feeling. After a few minutes it was decided that we call into the doctor.  We called and left a message. While we were waiting, Chris looked it up and saw that I could take a Gas X strip.  I did. My doctor called back and after I explained everything going on he thought it best that I head to the ER to be checked out. I cried all the way there. I was so scared.

Thankfully, the ER was empty. I only had to wait a few minutes to get started. They took some blood and made me pee in a cup. Then got me set up in a room. When I changed into a gown I noticed that I a red rash around one of my sites. Great. I saw the nurse, she did an EKG, just because of where pressure was located. It was fine. Then I saw the PA. I explained everything to her. She called the surgery residents to see me. It only took a few minutes for the resident to come see me. Again explained it all again. He said he would call my surgeon to see what he wanted me to do. After a little while the PA came back and told me that I had a UTI and was extremely dehydrated. They started my fluids, I was going to get 3 liters of fluid. They also were going to run an antibiotic to help the UTI. After a little while a young man came and took me to get belly xrays. Once I came back from that my nurse came back in and started the IV antibiotic. This is where it got a little interesting.

After a few minutes of the antibiotic started I asked Chris for a drink of water. I took a sip and felt so sick. I felt like I was burning from the inside out. My face turned to fire and my teeth started pulsing.  Then my legs started shaking so bad that I couldn't make them stop. Chris got the nurse back and he got the PA who told the nurse to push benadryl. He did and after a little longer I started to feel better.

A little while later, the resident came back in again to see me and told me that my liver enzymes were a little up. Great. So I have to have them rechecked this week and see Von Rueden this week.

My mental status is shaken to say the least. I am sad, and wishing that I would have never done this to myself. I am praying that this was my stumble and it will continue to get better from here forward.  I am really thinking that I will be making an appointment to see the counselor at the surgeons office this week as well.

Day 4 Post Op

I really wanted to start this blog before surgery. However, I couldn't make myself do it. To say I didn't have time, or the whole  'I really don't know why I didn't' would be a flat out lie. I was scared. I was in shock. I couldn't believe this was really going to happen. I continued all of this all the way up them moving me onto the surgery table with me in tears. I felt selfish. All I kept thinking in my head was what IF this. What IF that. How would Chris and the girls ever forgive me if something were to happen and I didn't come home. How would I forgive myself. So all of this was running right under my outward appearance of a smile and hopeful attitude.

A little background about my preop process. My insurance has a requirement that anyone looking into weight loss surgery (wls) must complete 6 months in a monitored weight loss program. My first appointment with my surgery team was on Aug 29, 2011. At that time my fuzzy math had my surgery time around late Mar-April time frame. When my nurse first mentioned late Feb I was floored. There of course was the disclaimer of  'it all depends on how fast the insurance approves'. My did drag it's feet a little. It reminded me a lot of our last months in our adoption process. That is a whole different post!

During my 6 months, my weight was a roller coaster. Down 6 lbs, back up 4. I was not a model preoper. I struggled with the loss of food. Daily. I wondered often how the the hell I was going to be able to be compliant after surgery if I couldn't do it now. During all of this time I had a battery of tests, some I completed right away, others I didn't. It was all a mental fight. This went on month after month until Jan. I met with my nutritionist and exercise physiologist. I had a 5 lb gain. They both came at me the perfect way and questioned, without directly asking, how committed I was. Bricks fell on my head. No one had ever questioned my commitment to anything before. No one had ever made me question myself.

I drove home that day a little bruised, but in the exact way I needed to be. It lit a fire. I came home rode over 15 miles on my elliptical bike and wrote an email that changed everything. My coming out if you will. I was shocked by the response. I was sent love and encouragement, and that only made my fire grow. For my last appointment I weighed and found that I had lost 13 lbs. Made my preop goal. and was on my way.

That leads to today. I am 4 days out, and feel really pretty good. I have been moved to level two foods. Meaning I can have full liquids. So every few typed words I am sipping on my protein shake. I only have two pain levels mild and narcotic. I have only taken the narcotic once and that was more then I ever want to have again. I only took the Tylenol two times yesterday. My energy is returning slowly. I am still pretty swollen. I did see my Team on Friday, who were impressed with how much fluid I got into my system my first day out. They removed my drain which was my biggest source of pain. I don't have to come back for 3 weeks.

I really do want to keep this blog to document this year as I transform. It is funny though, I have been overweight my entire life. I have never know healthy Megan. I can't wait to meet her.