Non Scale Victories (NSV's) are a huge deal. I have had a few of these, but Wednesday I had my biggest to date. As some may know my hubby will be graduating from college in two weeks! I really dreaded going to find something to wear for this. For two reasons. 1) it is hard to find things that fit me in the stores. I normally order from a great website. I was going to do this again, but I couldn't find something I liked enough to order. 2) Money. Someone my size to buy something other then a t-shirt costs a good amount of money. With loosing the weight the way I am I didn't want to spend $100 for something I might wear once.
When my Mom was up here for Grandparents day at Lily's school. We went shopping. I had no clue where to even start with sizes. I picked out a few things were I thought I might be and a few a size smaller. The very first dress I put on was the winner! It was smaller then I thought I was! The jeans that I came into the store wearing (that are way too big now) are 5 sizes bigger then this dress! Now, I am no where near 'normal' sizes, but, I am now finally out of the way high end sizes! It also (thanks to a sale) didn't cost more then my budget for it. Plus, it is dressy, but not over the top so I can wear it for Charlotte's promotion ceremony!
I ended up buying a pair of new jeans, and a new night gown. My might gowns are like tents on me! It is really funny! I mean I like them big, but it was getting a little crazy! I never buy myself things, and I have been blessed by family members passing on clothes my way. I really only needed those three things. Oh I also got a new sucker upper (what I call shape wear) I need this to support my hernia while I exercise. The one I wear now is getting a little worn. I am wearing everything in my dresser now. Today I put on a pair of Chris' gym shorts just to see- ended up wearing them to the gym this morning! :-)
Small update: Tuesday afternoon, I had gas pain that became so severe I had to call Chris home from work. I couldn't get it to move despite everything I was doing. My parents thankfully were already here for Grandparents Day the next day. So they kept the kids busy while I was in a world of pain. When Chris got home we called into the office and my surgeon said to head to the ER (it hurt that bad) because I really thought I had blown my hernia. Chris gets off the phone helps me to try to sit up, while I was sitting up I realized I could sit up (couldn't before). I made my way to the bathroom, and still was a little painful but nothing too bad. As we stood on the front porch I told him I felt better. We still walked to the car, I got in and laid my seat all the way back. Rolled from side to side- thank God no one was around! Still no pain. I called back to the office and left a message for my surgeon letting him know the gas bubble must have gotten stuck under my hernia, but that it had finally passed! Felt just fine the rest of the night and next day went back to normal! It was crazy!
5K training went really well on Wednesday. I didn't fall! I am hanging in there.
Friday, April 27, 2012
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Just The Facts
Just a quickie update post!
Here is the break down....
Today is 8 weeks!!!
Total loss from highest recorded... 77 lbs!
Total since surgery... 44 lbs!
This weeks loss 3 lbs!
Today I had to see the counselor today. That went great! On my way out I saw Liz, and she asked if I wanted to get some new measurements. Since September till today I have lost a total of 42.25 inches! 7 of those are just from last month!
Tomorrow I am doing my first two-a-day. Gym in the morning and 5K group training at night. I normally go on Saturday but I am changing back to Wednesday because my next few weekends are booked. Glad to report it all super fun things like camping, graduations and grad parties!! I am super close to my first milestone! Feeling great!
Here is the break down....
Today is 8 weeks!!!
Total loss from highest recorded... 77 lbs!
Total since surgery... 44 lbs!
This weeks loss 3 lbs!
Today I had to see the counselor today. That went great! On my way out I saw Liz, and she asked if I wanted to get some new measurements. Since September till today I have lost a total of 42.25 inches! 7 of those are just from last month!
Tomorrow I am doing my first two-a-day. Gym in the morning and 5K group training at night. I normally go on Saturday but I am changing back to Wednesday because my next few weekends are booked. Glad to report it all super fun things like camping, graduations and grad parties!! I am super close to my first milestone! Feeling great!
Monday, April 23, 2012
Dreams
We all have them right? In my pre-mommy days I was a nurse. I went through a high school program- giving up a typical Senior year to go after it. When I graduated from High School I was able to sit for and passed the Nclex- LPN licensing exam. I was handing out controlled meds before I could legally drink or buy cigarettes. I dreamt of being a mother for a long time. Finally having to take the reins myself (with Chris of course) and go after it. Same thing when we found out we were expecting Charlotte. I was determined that God didn't give us this to take it away. So I fought against my body and kept her surprising my doctors.
I was determined. I was driven.
In the past I have felt determined to loose this weight that I carry around. I would loose some. Then get frustrated that it wasn't happening fast enough, or really at all. Old habits would creep back in and the same amount of weight I was able to loose was back on in no time, and this time brought friends. I would pretend it didn't bother me, but it did. And still does.
The first few weeks after my surgery I must have said I am sorry more times then I had in my life. I was sorry. For putting Chris and the girls through a scary surgery, my parents for leaving their home 3 hours away to come help me out. I was mad at myself that I had always been so driven and determined for other things in my life, but never this. I had to put myself through this surgery, change my anatomy to finally get to a healthy weight. The surgery is not a silver bullet. I will loose in the beginning, but as time goes on my body will figure this out. I am going to have to fight this the rest of my life.
This weekend my surgeon was running the 5K group training. After I gracefully ate concrete, he let everyone else go on ahead and stayed with me. After a minute I got up and I finished my training. This time was different then any other time in my life. I didn't finish the training just to save face and appear brave. I didn't even think of those things. I was more concerned with me being too hurt to get back to the gym! I was proud of myself that I really finished for me. He and I talked on our way around the track and I told him about my buyers remorse. He agrees it is all rooted in fear of the unknown. I was nice to feel validated by him. I don't know why I needed it from him, but I did.
Chris and I opted out of the gym yesterday. I was pretty sore after falling. This morning, I still felt sore, but I went. I wasn't going to do the 5K training I was going to bike. But, when I got to my favorite room, I saw all of those beautiful treadmills. I couldn't stop myself. My ankle and knee hurt a little, but after I got into the groove it all went away. Not only did I do the 5K training, I beat my time and distance!
As for my dream in all of this, I will say what I said in my very first appointment with Liz the exercise phsyologist. I want to be able to ride amusement park rides with my kids. I want to walk past a mirror and not say eww. I want to be able to walk into a store and buy whatever I want. I want to be able to buy whatever it is and not look at the weight limit first. I want people to not be afraid to sit next to me in an office.I want to train for and finish this 5K and then move onto Disney's Princess Half Marathon. I want to run! I want all of this and more.
I finally feel like I have to the right tool to do all of this with. I feel like it is all mine to take. I am determined. I am driven. It is mine.
I was determined. I was driven.
In the past I have felt determined to loose this weight that I carry around. I would loose some. Then get frustrated that it wasn't happening fast enough, or really at all. Old habits would creep back in and the same amount of weight I was able to loose was back on in no time, and this time brought friends. I would pretend it didn't bother me, but it did. And still does.
The first few weeks after my surgery I must have said I am sorry more times then I had in my life. I was sorry. For putting Chris and the girls through a scary surgery, my parents for leaving their home 3 hours away to come help me out. I was mad at myself that I had always been so driven and determined for other things in my life, but never this. I had to put myself through this surgery, change my anatomy to finally get to a healthy weight. The surgery is not a silver bullet. I will loose in the beginning, but as time goes on my body will figure this out. I am going to have to fight this the rest of my life.
This weekend my surgeon was running the 5K group training. After I gracefully ate concrete, he let everyone else go on ahead and stayed with me. After a minute I got up and I finished my training. This time was different then any other time in my life. I didn't finish the training just to save face and appear brave. I didn't even think of those things. I was more concerned with me being too hurt to get back to the gym! I was proud of myself that I really finished for me. He and I talked on our way around the track and I told him about my buyers remorse. He agrees it is all rooted in fear of the unknown. I was nice to feel validated by him. I don't know why I needed it from him, but I did.
Chris and I opted out of the gym yesterday. I was pretty sore after falling. This morning, I still felt sore, but I went. I wasn't going to do the 5K training I was going to bike. But, when I got to my favorite room, I saw all of those beautiful treadmills. I couldn't stop myself. My ankle and knee hurt a little, but after I got into the groove it all went away. Not only did I do the 5K training, I beat my time and distance!
As for my dream in all of this, I will say what I said in my very first appointment with Liz the exercise phsyologist. I want to be able to ride amusement park rides with my kids. I want to walk past a mirror and not say eww. I want to be able to walk into a store and buy whatever I want. I want to be able to buy whatever it is and not look at the weight limit first. I want people to not be afraid to sit next to me in an office.I want to train for and finish this 5K and then move onto Disney's Princess Half Marathon. I want to run! I want all of this and more.
I finally feel like I have to the right tool to do all of this with. I feel like it is all mine to take. I am determined. I am driven. It is mine.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Week 7
I am proud to announce that the stall is over! Yesterday when I popped up on the scale it had dropped 5lbs!!! That makes the totals 40lbs since surgery and 74 from highest! Wahoo! One of the pages I follow on facebook is a page for WLS'ers. Someone the other day listed out a comparison chart for what your weight loss really equals out to. I was between an Irish Setter and a solid gold bar! I thought that was funny.
I have been going to the gym as often as I can. Charlotte joined me on Monday and loved the kids section. I met with the trainer. I didn't know that it was going to turn into a sales pitch (don't you hate that!), and I don't like to be caught off guard. On a positive note he did show me some new exercises to try that I can mix it. I also made it to the 5K training on Saturday. Liz kicked out butts! We are still in the beginning of training so we only walked/jogged 0.8 miles, or one loop. Then she put us through a boot camp of sorts. I kept up pretty well. I am the largest person doing this, and I think the closest out from surgery. I do have to figure out different exercise clothes. My pants were literally sliding down today! It only makes matters worse that because of my hernia I must wear shapewear under my exercise clothing. It helps keep it stable. I thought for sure that my pants were going to hit the floor today! I did make my 5K training goals, it was pretty ugly but I made it!
I am very close to my first set goal for myself! I hope to get there in the next 2 weeks or so. My reward system I have set up is completely non-food based. I was given for my birthday a Pandora bracelet. I am going to pick out a new charm representing each milestone. I wear the bracelet everyday so I will be able to look at it always as a reminder.
Looking ahead, next week I am so excited. At 8 weeks I get to have tomatoes again! I don't really like them raw but LOVE them roasted or really cooked in any way! So I gt to try them out to see how they will sit me.
I have been going to the gym as often as I can. Charlotte joined me on Monday and loved the kids section. I met with the trainer. I didn't know that it was going to turn into a sales pitch (don't you hate that!), and I don't like to be caught off guard. On a positive note he did show me some new exercises to try that I can mix it. I also made it to the 5K training on Saturday. Liz kicked out butts! We are still in the beginning of training so we only walked/jogged 0.8 miles, or one loop. Then she put us through a boot camp of sorts. I kept up pretty well. I am the largest person doing this, and I think the closest out from surgery. I do have to figure out different exercise clothes. My pants were literally sliding down today! It only makes matters worse that because of my hernia I must wear shapewear under my exercise clothing. It helps keep it stable. I thought for sure that my pants were going to hit the floor today! I did make my 5K training goals, it was pretty ugly but I made it!
I am very close to my first set goal for myself! I hope to get there in the next 2 weeks or so. My reward system I have set up is completely non-food based. I was given for my birthday a Pandora bracelet. I am going to pick out a new charm representing each milestone. I wear the bracelet everyday so I will be able to look at it always as a reminder.
Looking ahead, next week I am so excited. At 8 weeks I get to have tomatoes again! I don't really like them raw but LOVE them roasted or really cooked in any way! So I gt to try them out to see how they will sit me.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Picture Motivation
I missed the 5K training on Wednesday. Not gonna lie, I totally copped out. The weather was iffy and it is a good 45 min drive to get to the park where it is being held. I didn't want to fight the traffic just to get there and have it rained out. But, something good come from it. I joined a gym. Chris and I had a talk about it and I went looking with my sister yesterday. I settled on Gold's. It was almost half of what I would have been spending per month on a swim pass. Plus Chris can come along on the weekends for free and the girls have their own kid gym! Wahoo! I went today and I loved it! Did 30 mins on the treadmill and walked 1.4 miles. My favorite part of the gym (so far) is that they have a movie area with a ton of cardio equipment in it. So I could do my thing in the dark! I didn't watch the movie. I like to listen to music when I work out. They were playing 50 first dates. Tomorrow the weather here is supposed to be great so I will not be copping out and will indeed make it to 5K training!
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
6 Weeks, A Little Bad News, And A Stall
I know the title seems like a downer, but it really isn't all that bad. Yesterday was 6 weeks exactly. Wow that went fast! I am considered 'healed' physically, mentally I am still getting there. I am learning that this surgery changes everything. My brain is just a little slow to catch up. Last week week had a few bumps. I had two full days of being dizzy and just feeling off. I did go see my surgeon, because I had a stitch that was coming out. I told him everything, we got more blood work done. Just to make sure. As far as I know everything was great. I started to feel better on Thursday/Friday. My guess is that it was more related to my sinus issues. I have been dizzy because of that before, this was just a lot more.
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TMI section- there is mention of blood here. It might be gross for some so just skip ahead to the end!
While I was office, I told him that I finally figured out where the bloody discharge from my belly button was coming from. I have an open ulcerated area in there. He was finally able to really see it. He was actually a little speechless! There was a lot of 'umm oh, well look at thats'. I felt vindicated, I had been telling him, but he could never find it. We have a working plan for keeping it clean. It really makes me nervous because having blood coming out of your belly button. Even if it just ooze from and ulcer. The bad news is that I am out of the pool until it heals. Honestly, I can't see myself back in the pool until I have the hernia repair done. That is at least 10 months away. Insert sad face.
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The good news is that Chris has been great (like always, well most times) and agreed that instead of getting a pool pass I am looking at gym's. If I can find one that I like that is about the same money as the pool then we are going for that. Trying to get what I need without jacking up cost. Tonight I start the couch to 5K program. It is 9 weeks, I think? The race is June 9.That is all free for me to participate in. I think it would be pretty foolish to not at least try. Oh that reminds me I have to change Charlotte's hair donation appointment. Crap. Anyway, I am excited about this. I know it is going to only help my weight loss, and help get up my endurance.
Speaking of weight loss, this week I stalled. Same as last week. I know it seems crazy for that to happen when you are only eating (maybe) 400-500 calories a day. However, from what I have read it is quite normal around 6 weeks. I am not really upset, I just took it as my body saying, "OK, I am now all healed up! Get out there and move it!" So that is what I am going to do.
************************************************************************************
TMI section- there is mention of blood here. It might be gross for some so just skip ahead to the end!
While I was office, I told him that I finally figured out where the bloody discharge from my belly button was coming from. I have an open ulcerated area in there. He was finally able to really see it. He was actually a little speechless! There was a lot of 'umm oh, well look at thats'. I felt vindicated, I had been telling him, but he could never find it. We have a working plan for keeping it clean. It really makes me nervous because having blood coming out of your belly button. Even if it just ooze from and ulcer. The bad news is that I am out of the pool until it heals. Honestly, I can't see myself back in the pool until I have the hernia repair done. That is at least 10 months away. Insert sad face.
**********************************************************************************
The good news is that Chris has been great (like always, well most times) and agreed that instead of getting a pool pass I am looking at gym's. If I can find one that I like that is about the same money as the pool then we are going for that. Trying to get what I need without jacking up cost. Tonight I start the couch to 5K program. It is 9 weeks, I think? The race is June 9.That is all free for me to participate in. I think it would be pretty foolish to not at least try. Oh that reminds me I have to change Charlotte's hair donation appointment. Crap. Anyway, I am excited about this. I know it is going to only help my weight loss, and help get up my endurance.
Speaking of weight loss, this week I stalled. Same as last week. I know it seems crazy for that to happen when you are only eating (maybe) 400-500 calories a day. However, from what I have read it is quite normal around 6 weeks. I am not really upset, I just took it as my body saying, "OK, I am now all healed up! Get out there and move it!" So that is what I am going to do.
Monday, April 2, 2012
One Month/5 Weeks
I am a little late with my one month update. I did go to see my surgeon last week and he was very please with how I am doing. I have one small spot that is just taking longer to heal, but other then that all is well. I did notice a suture that is trying to work it's way out. I called this morning, and I will see him on Wednesday before my post-op transition class. Also, my belly button is acting up. It has nothing to do with my bypass, but it is still a real concern because I do not want any infection in there before I get to goal and get it fixed. I did just talk with him about this last week, but last night there was a small amount of blood coming from it. I think there is an ulcer in there. I just want him to check it out to make sure everything is ok.
Now for the numbers... I got on the scale today, a day early but it was a good number so I am keeping it! I am now down 35 lbs from surgery, and 69 from highest! That makes me really happy! I seem to be dropping from my top down. My waist and hips are smaller, but I feel much thinner in my upper body. This week I am going to get my butt in gear and start moving. I wanted to get into the pool, but I have to wait again until Dr. von Rueden sees my belly button. So I am walking until then.
I have restarted my Celexa. I had some trouble taking it alone- it tasted horrible. So I am now mixing it and it is much better. I did ask at my last appointment if I could please just take the pill again. I even brought an old pill to show him the size! He said I could take it, BUT I wouldn't absorb it as well as I am the liquid. So, for now liquid it is.
I don't think I have ever listed out what I take everyday now: Here it all is!
Morning:
Nutrametix Multi-vit
Nutrametrix Calcuim 750mg
Actagall
Celexa
prevacid
Afternoon:
B12 (twice a week)
Iron 30 mg
Evening:
Actagal
Nutrametrix Multi-vit
Nutrametrix Calcuim 750mg
That is a lot to look at. It doesn't seem like that much day to day though. Good news is that my PCP has taken me off all of Asthma meds. She is cautiously optimistic that all I may need is a rescue inhaler. She did give me a script for my meds but in a chewable. To have just in case my allergies bring on the Asthma symptoms. So that makes me really happy that I might be off all of those meds.
Let's see what's coming up... I signed up for a Couch to 5K program. I don't expect to 'run' it, but I am fully expecting to walk the whole thing. The training starts this week. I will miss the first class because of my post-op class. But other then that I intend to be at all the rest. Also, I will be upping the walking here at home as well.
Now for the numbers... I got on the scale today, a day early but it was a good number so I am keeping it! I am now down 35 lbs from surgery, and 69 from highest! That makes me really happy! I seem to be dropping from my top down. My waist and hips are smaller, but I feel much thinner in my upper body. This week I am going to get my butt in gear and start moving. I wanted to get into the pool, but I have to wait again until Dr. von Rueden sees my belly button. So I am walking until then.
I have restarted my Celexa. I had some trouble taking it alone- it tasted horrible. So I am now mixing it and it is much better. I did ask at my last appointment if I could please just take the pill again. I even brought an old pill to show him the size! He said I could take it, BUT I wouldn't absorb it as well as I am the liquid. So, for now liquid it is.
I don't think I have ever listed out what I take everyday now: Here it all is!
Morning:
Nutrametix Multi-vit
Nutrametrix Calcuim 750mg
Actagall
Celexa
prevacid
Afternoon:
B12 (twice a week)
Iron 30 mg
Evening:
Actagal
Nutrametrix Multi-vit
Nutrametrix Calcuim 750mg
That is a lot to look at. It doesn't seem like that much day to day though. Good news is that my PCP has taken me off all of Asthma meds. She is cautiously optimistic that all I may need is a rescue inhaler. She did give me a script for my meds but in a chewable. To have just in case my allergies bring on the Asthma symptoms. So that makes me really happy that I might be off all of those meds.
Let's see what's coming up... I signed up for a Couch to 5K program. I don't expect to 'run' it, but I am fully expecting to walk the whole thing. The training starts this week. I will miss the first class because of my post-op class. But other then that I intend to be at all the rest. Also, I will be upping the walking here at home as well.
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